Frasier Quote #55

Quote from Frasier in Rescue Me

Diane: If the food's so good, why is it empty?
Frasier: I don't know.
Waiter: Welcome to Luigi's. Our world-renowned chef, Luigi, would like to welcome you personally, but he's dead. [stifles a cry] We buried him this morning. Is this table satisfactory?
Frasier: You buried him this morning and you're open for business?
Waiter: Yes. It was one of Luigi's last wishes. [stifles a cry]
Diane: Would it be easier on you if we left?
Waiter: No, no, no! The new man is a very fine cook. He studied under... [stifles a cry] the world's greatest chef. Stay. Stay, prego.
Frasier: Well, we're very hungry. Can you recommend an appetizer?
Waiter: Yes, the Calamari alla Luigi [stifles a cry] is very good.
Frasier: Well, we'll have an order of that and a bottle of your best chianti. Boy, can I show a girl a good time.

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 ‘Rescue Me’ Quotes

Quote from Carla

Carla: What are you doing? Can't you see this is a twisted cry for help? Sammy, I'm here for you.
Sam: Carla, knock it off. I'm not saying I'm going. I just wanna find out if I can. That's all.
Carla: I don't get it, Sammy. Why Diane? Why not arsenic or strychnine?
Norm: Let's see if I'm following all of this. Carla, you think Diane is bad for Sam.

Quote from Coach

Dan Corelli: Say, aren't you Ernie Pantusso?
Coach: Are you talking to me, sir?
Dan Corelli: Yeah. Yes, I am. Well, I'll be damned. Do you remember me?
Coach: No, I'm sorry. I don't.
Dan Corelli: Let me give you a hint.
Coach: I like hints.
Dan Corelli: Shortstop. Topeka, 1947. My nickname was "Fancy Dan".
Coach: Joe Pitney!
Dan Corelli: No, Ernie. I'm Dan Corelli.
Coach: Danny Corelli! My God, am I happy to see you! Hey, everybody, listen up. This is one of the most amazing men in the world. One of the most amazing men that ever stepped into a baseball diamond. He was a great ball-player. I know, I played against him. But, listen, the man is totally blind!
Dan Corelli: Ernie, I'm not blind and I never was.
Coach: Come on, Corelli, don't be modest. You were a legend. You were an absolute legend. The whole league talked about the blind man who played short-stop for Topeka.
Dan Corelli: Ernie, you're all confused. They called me the Blind Man because I sold Venetian blinds door-to-door during the off season.
Coach: My God, how did he find the doorbell? Now, is that an inspirational story or not, huh? They didn't buy your product out of pity, I'm telling you, Corelli.
Dan Corelli: I'll see you later.
Coach: Corelli, watch it, the steps there, please!
Carla: Coach, I think he can see as well as we can.
Coach: Carla, in some ways, he can see more.

Quote from Cliff

Sam: Does anyone know how long it takes to get to Italy from here?
Carla: OK, nobody panic!
Cliff: Sammy, you can make it from here to Italy in 8 hours, 37 minutes, 22 seconds. With a good tail wind.
Sam: Seriously?
Cliff: Well, unless you take the polar route. In which case you run into those convex currents created by the Aurora Borealis.
Carla: You're a roaring bore-ealis.