Paul: Hey, you guys ever hear of something called the Polar Bear Club?
Cliff: Uh...
Paul: Well, it's great. We used to do it all the time where I grew up. Bunch of guys get in their cars. They drive down to the ocean. They strip down to their skivvies and they run right into the water.
Cliff: Uh, I was thinking more of a, uh, belching contest.
Norm: Oh, I don't know, uh, loudest or longest?
Paul: Fine. Fine, but you guys don't know what you're missing. Now, when we were kids we didn't care if it was January or February, we just jumped in that ocean and swam. It felt great. It was like we scored one against winter.
Woody: Hey, if it's good enough for Mr. Krapence.
Frasier: Well, are we up to it, men?
Cliff: All right. Well, uh, well, it's one of the earthly thrills I haven't tried yet. Let's do it!
Guys: [chanting] Polar Bear! Polar Bear! Polar Bear! Polar Bear! Polar Bear! Polar Bear! Polar Bear... [Frasier, Norm, Cliff and Woody march out of the bar]
Carla: So, Paul, where were you brought up?
Paul: Honolulu.

Frasier: Oh, I sense the mood of the bar. You're all suffering from the winter blues, the shortened daylight hours, the cold numbing weather, the bleak sense of isolation. It's what we in the psychiatric profession call, the jackpot!

Frasier: Good afternoon, all!
Norm: Shut the door!
Frasier: Why?
Norm: To keep out the bitter cold.
[Lilith walks in]
Carla: Too late. She got in.

Lilith: Frasier and I have a wonderful plan to lift our spirits.
Woody: What, are you gonna buy some toys and canned goods and hand 'em out to underprivileged kids?
Frasier: Well, no. We're checking into a luxury hotel for a getaway weekend, just the two of us.
Woody: Oh. Well, that'll make some bellboys happy. So, aren't you gonna bring the kid?
Frasier: Well, we would, but we find that we make better parents if we occasionally take a break from our parenting responsibilities.
Woody: Hey, you don't have to justify it to me. You know, my parents ran off for a year with the Pentecostal caravan. Oh, sure, they called once in a while, but they were speaking in tongues. Yeah. It was just by chance that they came back at all.

Sam: You cannot order me to perform! I don't want to have sex with you, okay? No sex. Who said that?
Rebecca: I don't believe this. If we don't do it now we have to wait a whole month!
Sam: I'm not in the mood, all right? Who's saying these things?
Rebecca: Sam, what is wrong with you?
Sam: I don't know.

Rebecca: There's something wrong isn't there, Sam?
Sam: Uh, yeah, there's something I want to say and I- I I've been walking around trying to figure out how to say it and... l, I guess the only thing to do is just, say it.
Rebecca: Sam, I don't love you. I'm not gonna have your baby. It would be a big, stupid mistake.
Sam: What?
Rebecca: What were you gonna say?
Sam: Well, the same thing, but a much nicer way.

Frasier: Now, at 2:00, we have a choice between a sumptuous high tea and a relaxing Swedish massage.
Cliff: Ah, 2:00. Right about then I'll be jumping into my mail truck, ripping off my shoes and trying to save my toes from frostbite.
Frasier: Hey, nobody held a gun to your head and said, "Be a mailman."

Sam: Say, Fras, uh, you know, if you have trouble getting rid of that reservation, I sure know a couple who've been under a lot of stress and fighting a lot lately, and, you know, they could benefit from a, a nice weekend in a hotel.
Cliff: Thanks for thinking of us, Sammy.
Norm: Yeah. Listen, uh, I just got to run home and get my travel iron real quick.
Sam: I'm not talking about you guys. I'm talking about me and Rebecca.
Cliff: Yeah, stupid. You should have thought of that.
Norm: You made the same mistake, pal.
Cliff: Boy, we- we really could have used that weekend.

Carla: Hey. Why aren't you home watching your scabby kid?
Lilith: My mother's come into town to help take care of him. So I thought I'd steal a few moments and come here and relax with my husband.
Carla: He's not here.
Lilith: Better yet.

Lilith: Where is my husband, anyway?
Paul: Oh, uh, some of the guys went to do something, and he went along.
Lilith: I suppose if they all went to jump off a cliff he'd do that, too.
Paul: I didn't think of that, but it probably would have worked.