Eric: First day of college and I got no place to live. I show up at the dorm and I say excuse me, ding ding, front please. Eric Matthews, I go here. Where's my towel, where's my room? They tell me I'm not on the list. Like there's a list!

Amy: Sometimes you scare me. I mean how are you supposed to do well in college if you can't even fill out the housing application?
Eric: Oh, it's worse than that. Checked the wrong box on some other form, now they think I'm an Eskimo.

Cory: Then he insists on something with an ocean view so he can relax his nerves.
Topanga: An ocean view sounds nice.
Cory: We live in Philadelphia!

Cory: Eric, what are you doing to me? We had a deal. You and Jack are so perfect for each other you should be married!
Eric: I'm not ready.

Jack: Hey, Eric, nice to meet you.
Eric: Yeah, nice to meet you too, Jack.
Jack: You smoke?
Eric: No. You smoke?
Jack: No.
Eric: You like pets?
Jack: Na, I have a hard enough time keeping track of myself. You?
Eric: I'm not a pet guy. Got four kids though!

Jack: Favorite color on three.
Eric: Go.
Jack: Eric: One, two, three. Blue!
Jack: See you later.
Eric: Yeah, nice to meet you. ... I don't like him.

Cory: Eric, why are you doing this to me? Why are you home?
Eric: I don't know.

Amy: For years I've seen you give advice to everybody, but never me. Why is that?!
Mr. Feeny: You don't ask.

Jack: Favorite movie on three.
Jack: Eric: One, two, three. Godfather!
Jack: Eric: Part two!
Eric: ... I don't get him.