Michael: Where are you getting all the money?
Lindsay: It's not costing you anything.
Michael: Unless you're stealing or working, I'm pretty sure it is.
Lindsay: That's right. I stole it.
Narrator: In fact, Lindsay, tired of wearing last year's fashions went to an upscale department store and in a moment of desperation applied for a job.
Lindsay: Can I have a job application please?
Narrator: But she was ashamed of being a shop girl and was relieved when Michael gave her the out.
Lindsay: Well, they expect a certain amount of theft, Michael. It's built into the price. If I didn't take it, then people would be overpaying for nothing.

Narrator: Michael was heading off to work when his son, George Michael, reminded him of a yearly tradition.
George Michael: Hey, don't forget me.
Michael: For what?
George Michael: It's Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. And unless you had a daughter I don't know about, I'm your girl.
Narrator: Michael had first made this joke when George Michael was six.
[flashback:]
Michael: Well, she's not my daughter, but it's about as close as I'm gonna get.
Young George Michael: I'm a good little girl.
[flashback:]
Narrator: It was a joke Michael was starting to grow concerned about as it had not worn well with age.
George Michael: Hey, Dad. They're out of sanitary napkins in the ladies' washroom.
George Sr.: Weird kid.

Lucille: Now there's someone who could have used a good mother. [shouts] Whore!

Narrator: Lindsay, meanwhile, arrived at the salon hoping to increase her self-esteem. Unfortunately, her stylist had just been called up by his reserve unit.
Lindsay: What's happening? Where are you going?
Alex: I'm not allowed to tell. It's the war.
Lindsay: Oh, come on! These salon wars have got to stop!
Alex: The war, Lindsay. The real war.
Narrator: Lindsay was stunned, not just that she was losing her stylist but that apparently, there was a war going on.
Lindsay: Well, I'm protesting this war. You're my friend and I'm not gonna let Shauna cut my hair. I'm going to take a stand.
Narrator: And Lindsay found a solution to her self-esteem problem.

Gob: Anyway, I can't be expected to live on the $800-a-month army-wife stipend that I'm gonna get.
Tobias: They just don't support the spouses.
Michael: You don't want to end up like Uncle Oscar, okay? Living off handouts your whole life. Why don't you come up with a way to make money? A suggestion of something to invest in, or maybe, uh, maybe a business idea?
Tobias: Well, I've always wanted to remake Annie Hall. Except I wouldn't want to get in bed with a green producer like a Sofia Coppola though. Oh, but give me an old pro, like a Robert Redford? Oh, I'd jump into bed with him in a second. And I wouldn't just lie there, Michael Bluth, if that's what you're thinking.
Michael: Actually, that time that was what I was thinking.

Narrator: Michael got a message he intended to ignore. Until he read the next line.
Michael: A matter of land, Mom?
Lucille: Oh, that's funny. I meant "a matter of 'L' and 'D'" Life and death.
Michael: What is the matter of life and death?
Lucille: Buster's jaw clicks when he eats. I think it's what's driving his friends away. I sent him to Canada for an operation. So I'll need some of that new money that just came in.
Michael: You know, Mom, if you want an operation that's really gonna help him, you ought to have them finally cut that cord.
Lucille: He needs me.

Narrator: Michael was preparing for a meeting with the Bluth Company board to decide what to do with some recently unfrozen funds.
Lindsay: Wow. Exciting, huh? Finally getting some money.
Michael: What do you want, Lindsay?
Lindsay: I'd like some of that money.
Michael: Well, this money is for land. Okay? We're not gonna burn through it like Dad did when he was in charge. With his bad investments, and his corrupt dealings... Mother's neck.
Lindsay: No, that was a good investment.
Michael: It is easier to look at now, isn't it?

Tobias: I just want to be a family again. I guess what I'm saying is I want to reunite the band.
Michael: Oh, no.
Narrator: "Oh, no" was right. In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music group with Lindsay and Maeby called Dr. Funke's 100% Natural Good-Time Family-Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Life Food Company, a division of Chem Grow, an Allyn-Crane acquisition, and part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple. "We keep you alive."
Tobias & Lindsay: [singing] Kind of life that's a little bit better with a Zanotab
Young Maeby: Zanotab may cause dry mouth, hair loss an overly alert feeling, and in some cases may diminish your sex drive.
Tobias & Lindsay: [singing] Zanatab.

Narrator: Seeing a window of opportunity, Lucille made a startling announcement.
Lucille: Nana was on that yacht!
Michael: What?
Lucille: You killed Nana!
Lindsay: She's lying! Nana wasn't on that yacht. She's fine. She's been dead for six months.

Narrator: George Sr. was forced to visit someone he had once tried to shove out of a moving car.
Tobias: Welcome.
George Sr.: You're Dorothy?
Tobias: I thought the two of us could talk, man-on-man. [George Sr. tries to walk out of the cell] I'm afraid I'm serious. I bought you. Remember to let it steep for five minutes.
George Sr.: Oh, dear God.
Tobias: I've been in this family for 16 years and I don't think we've ever had a conversation.
George Sr.: I'm not gonna discuss this.
Tobias: You hate me.
George Sr.: Yeah, I do hate you. You took my daughter. My precious little girl and moved her away. And now I'm here, and I am afraid I will never get her back.
Tobias: Afraid. You're afraid. Fear has turned into hate. So Frightened Inmate #2 isn't frightened at all. He's angry. He's a crabby old coot and he needs love just like everyone. [hugs George Sr.]
George Sr.: Get your [bleep] hands off of me.
Tobias: Shh. Don't be scared. [sings] Somewhere over the rainbow There's another rainbow