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Indecent Dick

‘Indecent Dick’

Season 4, Episode 8 -  Aired December 9, 1998

After Sally decides she would like to pose naked for Playpen magazine, Dick is shocked to learn Mary once appeared in the magazine. Meanwhile, Tommy falls for his new lab partner, Alissa, while Harry ditches his clothes.

Quote from Dick

Dick: I'm sorry. I just don't see the difference. I mean, you tell me that this is meant for arousal, and this is meant for aesthetic appreciation. But when I look at them, well, this woman washing her sports car, she does nothing for me. But this woman with the apple and the snake. Well, that's just hot.


Quote from Dick

Leon: Dr. Solomon, I wouldn't normally ask this, but are you going to teach?
Dick: I've got too much on my mind.
Pitman: Like what?
Dick: Like women lewdly exposing themselves to prurient and lascivious shutterbugs. That's what.
Caryn: Oh, well, I know how you feel, Dr. Solomon, which is why we're staging a protest this Friday.
Dick: Oh, shut up, Caryn. This has nothing to do with your stupid little pep rally. This is about someone that I'm deeply involved with.
Pitman: Dr. Albright?
Dick: How did you know? Have you seen the pictures?
Bug: What, there are pictures of Dr. Albright?
Dick: There are no naked pictures!

Quote from Harry

Harry: Hi, Dick.
Dick: Harry, are you naked or am I seeing things?
Harry: Why, actually, it's a little of both. No, you know, I was just trying to figure out if this whole clothing thing is just a big scam. And you know what? I'm starting to think that it is.
Tommy: Hey, guys, what do you think I should wear to school tomorrow?
Harry: El nada!

Quote from Tommy

Tommy: This girl Alissa. I've never felt this way about a girl before. She's so different. You know what I mean? I don't even know how to explain it, but she's- She's just absolutely amazing. Am I- Am I nuts?
Dick: Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. Oh, yes, I've ridden on that bus, too. What you're going through is exactly what I felt when I first met Mary.
Tommy: Mary? This is nothing like how you felt about Mary. This is love. Do you understand? Love. You don't know what love is. You will never know what love is.
Dick: Tommy, when Mary and I-
Tommy: Can't I have anything of my own?

Quote from Don

Sally: Oh, Don, I'm so glad you're still here.
Don: Hey, Sally, what's up?
Sally: You know Playpen magazine?
Don: No.
Sally: Sure, you do. You keep them under the couch.
Don: Oh, those? Those aren't mine. Those came with the couch. Oh, God, now you think I'm a perv.
Sally: No, I don't. You like to look at naked ladies. It's perfectly normal.
Don: Why, yes, it is.

Quote from Sally

Sally: That's why I couldn't wait to tell you. I am so excited. I've decided to pose for Playpen. [Don laughs] Isn't that great?
Don: You, Sally, pose naked?!
Sally: What's the matter, Don?
Don: What's the matter? Sally, I don't want you posing naked for some magazine.
Sally: But you love these magazines. I mean, you must. This one's falling apart.
Don: No, that's different.
Sally: How?
Don: Well, they're not you, that's how. Listen, Sally, I know what kind of people read these things and what they're thinking when I do. And I'm sorry, but you are not posing and that's final!
Sally: Well, take a good long look at these babies, Don, 'cause the next time you see them, they'll be in a magazine!

Quote from Don

Dick: Some scum of the earth dirt peddler is out there with pictures of my Mary Albright, and what can I do?
Don: You can get those pictures back.
Dick: Will you help me?
Don: Damn right I will.
Dick: Will you abuse your police powers to do it?
Don: I think that's a given.

Quote from Sally

Sally: Hey, I thought you guys were coming over.
Mary: What?
Sally: Oh, right. I forgot to invite you. Well, hey, now that I'm here, I was wondering if I could, um, discuss something with you. You know, one pin-up to another.
Mary: Oh, well, I hardly consider myself a pin-up.
Sally: [chuckles] Well, duh, not anymore.

Quote from Mary

Sally: Don and I got into this real huge fight and now he's forbidding me to pose in the magazine.
Mary: Oh, that is so typical.
Nina: Men are so territorial. Like they have a deed to your body.
Mary: Exactly. I pose for a few photos in an art class twenty years before I even knew Dick, and he is so bent out of shape.
Sally: You guys, it's just that Don is really, really upset.
Mary: Well, boo-hoo for Don.
Sally: See, I just don't know if I should pose or not.
Mary: Why, just because Don thinks he owns you?
Nina: He can't tell you what to do with your body.
Mary: That's right. If we are ever going to make any progress as women, we've got to do what we want to do and not what our boyfriends tell us to do.
Sally: So, I should pose?
Mary: If you want Don to respect you as a woman, you have to.

Quote from Dick

Mary: What are you doing?
Dick: Mary, I was looking at your pictures.
Mary: What pictures?
Dick: Of you.
Mary: From where?
Dick: In the buff.
Mary: No!
Dick: Yes!

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