Kevin: Who makes it?
Michael Scott: Umm. MISSterious. It is mysterious, because the buttons are on the wrong side. That's the mystery.
Phyllis: Look, it's got shoulder pads. And did you see that lining?
Michael Scott: Okay.
Phyllis: Did you see that?
Michael Scott: Would you stop it, please?
Jim: So none of that tipped you off?
Michael Scott: It's European, okay? It's a European cut.
Pam: Michael, the pants don't have any pockets.
Michael Scott: No, they don't, see? Italians don't wear pockets.

Karen: When I heard Jim and Pam had kissed, my reaction was to have lots of long talks with Jim about our feelings. Roy just attacked him. I'm not sure which one Jim hated more.

Toby: This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest, scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from a female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case when it inevitably goes to trial.

Creed: I remember it was very late at night, like 11:00, 11:30. Big fella comes in screaming about God knows what. I think maybe Halpert had stolen his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with nickels. Then Schrute grabs a can of hairspray and a lighter-
Angela: You're useless.

Michael Scott: I'm going to give you a piece of paper. I want you to write down how much you want. Then I want you to slide it back across the desk to me.
Darryl: Why can't I just tell you?
Michael Scott: Because that is the way these things are done in films. Now slide it.

Andy: I graduated from anger management the same way I graduated from Cornell. On time. Now I'm back, got a second chance and I'm not going to blow it. So, look out, Dunder Mifflin. I mean "look out" in a fun way. You know, not like, "I'm going to hurt you."

Jim: Hey, man, I never got a chance to thank you for stopping Roy. Thank you.
Dwight K. Schrute: "Thank you" not necessary and thus not accepted. I saw someone breaking the law and I interceded.
Jim: Okay. Got you something.
Dwight K. Schrute: Don't want it.
Jim: You don't know what it is.
Dwight K. Schrute: Don't want it, won't open it, don't need it, won't take it. Citizens do not accept prizes for being citizens.

Jan: [on the phone] What is the situation, Toby?
Toby: Well, we fired Roy, obviously. And Jim won't press charges against Roy or the company.
Jan: Thank God.
Toby: Yeah. But now, apparently, Darryl has some issue with this-
Michael Scott: No, he has been wanting a raise for a couple of months, and he's just using this Roy thing as leverage.
Jan: Well, are you gonna take care of this?
Michael Scott: Yeppers.
Jan: What did I tell you about "yeppers"?
Michael Scott: I don't remember.
Jan: I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
Michael Scott: Yesh.

Jim: I guess all things considered, I was lucky Dwight was there. And Roy was lucky that Dwight only used pepper spray, and not the nunchuks or the throwing stars.

Kevin: Man, I cannot believe I missed the fight.
Oscar: It was crazy.
Angela: You saw it? Describe it, please.
Oscar: Well, I heard some shouting, and I look over and Roy's by reception, and you could just tell he's gonna punch somebody. Jim says something, Roy stomps over there, all of a sudden, bam, Roy goes down and Dwight's standing there like an action hero.
Angela: Oh.
Oscar: It was insane.
Angela: Well, good for Dwight.