‘The Merger’
Season 3, Episode 8 - Aired November 16, 2006
As the Stamford branch is closed, Michael welcomes its former employees to the Scranton office. New employee Andy tries to ingratiate himself with Michael.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Yo, Tuna. I wanna talk to you about this new boss, Michael Scott.
Jim: Yeah?
Andy: So what's he like? Likes, dislikes, favorite sports, favorite movies, favorite men's magazines.
Jim: You know what? I think you just need to meet him.
Andy: Playing your cards close to the vest. I get it. Good luck over there, Tuna. Cross me and I will destroy you.
Jim: Sounds good, Andy.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: My branch is absorbing the Stamford branch. Or as I like to put it, my family is doubling in size. And that's all I'm gonna say about it, because I have a gigantic performance ahead of me, and I have to get into my head and focus.
Quote from Michael Scott
Dwight K. Schrute: Nametag?
Michael Scott: Yes, please.
Dwight K. Schrute: Karen Filippelli.
Michael Scott: Karen Filip... [In Italian voice] Ka-ren Fili-pell-li.
Dwight K. Schrute: Probably Italian. Possibly Filipino.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Who's next?
Dwight K. Schrute: That's Andy Bernard.
Michael Scott: Andy Bernard. St. Bernard.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Welcome, welcome, welcome! Take me to your leader. Oh, wait, I am your leader.
Karen: Wait, are you a robot or a Martian?
Michael Scott: Mmm. Ah. I am actually your boss, Michael Scott. Welcome. Wow, you are very exotic-looking. Was your dad a GI, or...
Quote from Jim
Jim: Hi, I'm Jim. I'm new here.
Pam: Oh, my God, it's really you!
Jim: I was just doing a little joke there about how we'd never met.
Pam: I know, I don't care.
Jim: Awesome! Good to be back. The place looks really good.
Pam: It's really good to see you.
Jim: You, too.
Quote from Jim
Jim: Where do I stand with Pam? No idea. I mean, we're friends. Always have been friends. That is where we stand.
Quote from Michael Scott
Dwight K. Schrute: We need to talk.
Michael Scott: Not now.
Dwight K. Schrute: Which is higher, Assistant Regional Manager, or Regional Director in Charge of Sales?
Michael Scott: I told you the titles are irrelevant. They just relate to pay scale.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, so who gets paid more, me or Andy?
Michael Scott: It is not a matter of more or less. Your pay is just different, okay?
Quote from Michael Scott
Toby: You might want these orientation materials.
Michael Scott: Wrong, Toby, this is an orientation, not a bore-ientation.