Michael Scott: This is egregious! This is egregious!

Andy: Saw your dork-mobile in the parking lot. What does it get, like, four miles to the gallon?
Dwight K. Schrute: Uh, try double that. Classic Trans Am, vintage American muscle. Please.
Andy: Yeah, my Xterra is pretty sweet. Luxurious yet rugged. Leave it to the Japanese.
Dwight K. Schrute: Xterra's not even a real word.
Andy: Actually, it is, it's Latin for "earth."
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, so you drive an X-earth? Yeah, that makes sense. I'd rather drive a classic Trans Am than an X-earth.
Andy: Yeah, I bet you would. Oh, by the way, 1985 called. It wants its car back.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, I hope 1985 has a time machine, 'cause I drive an '87.

Hannah: Look what's on his computer!
Michael Scott: What is that, a squid's eye, or-
Hannah: It's my left breast.
Michael Scott: How did you...?
Creed: Right place at the right time.

Hannah: [using breast pump] Take a picture. It'll last longer.
Ryan: I'm sorry. It's just, it's a little distracting.
Creed: Ditto that, my brother.

Michael Scott: Tony! Please join your cohorts on the table, if you would.
Tony: This is difficult for me.
Michael Scott: Hey, I understand, we're all friends.
Tony: No, I mean, I can't physically. I can't get on the table.
Michael Scott: Oh, well, just use the momentum of your lower half to hoist yourself up. Okay? You know what? I'll help. I will help.
Tony: No, please. Don't-
Michael Scott: Don't be shy. Dwight, let's do this. Come on, we're doing this thing. Ready?
Dwight K. Schrute: On three. One... two... three.
Michael Scott: Bend at the knees. Okay. Here we go! Here we go! I'm under this. I'm under this hock here. I don't know what I'm grabbing here! All right, all right!
Tony: Stop! Put me down!
Michael Scott: But it feels good. Push it, push it! I'm right in your crack!
Tony: No, put me down right now!
Michael Scott: Don't give up! You got it, man!
Tony: Put me down right now! I've had enough! Put me down right now!