‘The Merger’
Season 3, Episode 8 - Aired November 16, 2006
As the Stamford branch is closed, Michael welcomes its former employees to the Scranton office. New employee Andy tries to ingratiate himself with Michael.
Quote from Pam
Michael Scott: Okay, do not worry. All of your questions are about to be answered. Cell phones and pagers off, please.
Jim: Oh, this looks promising.
Pam: You won't be disappointed.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Well, so far, I think it is killing. I thought it would either be an A or an A-plus, but I completely forgot that there is an A-plus-plus.
Quote from Jim
Karen: What? This is Karen Filippelli, please leave a message.
Jim: Terrible. Totally unconvincing.
Karen: This is Karen Filippelli, please leave a message.
Jim: Not bad. But you are Italian, so try it more Italian.
Karen: This is Karen a-Filippelli, please leave-a me the message.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Am I trying to get under his skin? Yes. Because the angrier he gets, the more marginalized he becomes. Meanwhile, Andy Bernard is out there laying on the charm.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Why are the new people on the table? To show them that we are not above them.
Karen: Shouldn't we be equals?
Michael Scott: Not today, no.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: You can't quit on the first day! That's heresy, my friend! Okay, let's talk about this. What happened? I mean, what- Was it Toby? Did he say something? 'Cause he's-
Tony: No, Toby was helpful. He was very kind. It's just your management style.
Michael Scott: My management style? So- Didn't you think Lazy Scranton was funny?
Tony: No. Was it supposed to be funny?
Michael Scott: Okay, well... Don't bother quitting, because you're fired.
Tony: Excuse me?
Michael Scott: You are fired! I'm sorry, but we don't have quitters on this team! Just clean out your desk!
Tony: But there's nothing in my desk except coupons.
Michael Scott: Don't try to apologize to me, man. It's too late! Just get out! Take your bad vibes with you!
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: That was my advice. Remember, I'm the one who suggested that you fire him!
Michael Scott: Probably the best advice you ever gave me, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: And what advice has Andy given to you today that you have acted on? Would none be an accurate estimate? None advice? [whispering] Fire Andy. Fire Andy.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Dwight may have won the battle, but I will win the next battle.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: No, we do have to get along. Can't we all just get along? Or have we forgotten the words of the Reverend King?
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Man, they got us so bad. We cannot let them get away with this! We have got to pull together as one and steal their refrigerators!
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah!
Michael Scott: Yeah?
Toby: I don't think we can do that.
Michael Scott: Go home, Toby.