Fannie: [walks up and hugs Dwight] I see you started without me.
Dwight K. Schrute: You were late. So, what am I supposed to do?
Fannie: Well, I told you...
Jeb: Hi, Fannie.
Fannie: Hey.
Oscar: Who is that?
Zeke: Dwight's sister.
Oscar: Dwight has a sister?
Zeke: Yeah.
Oscar: She's beautiful.
Zeke: Bleugh.

Oscar: [after Dwight opens coffin and begins firing shots at the body] That's it for me!

Clark: Hey, man. I don't think we've met. I'm Clark.
Todd: Oh. I'm Todd. Oh, sorry for calling you a fat, little runt earlier.
Clark: You didn't actually say that.
Todd: No? Wow. I'm in this mode now where I'm apologizing for thoughts that are in my head. Hey, I have a crazy feeling [gives Clark a cupcake] that you are really gonna like this.

Stanley: Maybe we should eat the cupcakes. Haven't we done enough to Packer? I mean, we sent him down to Florida on a prank. [to Nellie] And you did fire him.
Nellie: I did. I did, yes. And it was purely political. He did nothing wrong.

Aunt Shirley: We can't just sit by and watch our family farm disappear. So, here are my terms. Dwight, Fannie, Jeb. If you come back home, I will leave you my farm. So, there, you have it.
Fannie: Is she crazy? ... Dwight?
Jeb: Buddy? Buddy?
Fannie: No, no, no.
Jeb: Snap out of it. Dwight?

Angela: [as Kevin stares at his cupcake] Kevin, you can do this.
Kevin: You don't know that.
Pam: Kevin, um, let's think of something to distract us. Uh, like the movie Skyfall. You loved the movie Skyfall, right?
Angela: Uh-huh.
Kevin: James Bond was a spy.
Pam: Yes. He was a good spy.
Kevin: Yeah. He was the best. James Bond would love this cupcake.

Cameron: Is it dangerous to take the eggs in front of them?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes, very. You really need to stand back because these are killer chickens.
Cameron: I was just asking you something I didn't know.
Dwight K. Schrute: Which is fine. And, you learned something. But, it was kind of a stupid question so you're gonna get made fun of a little bit.
Cameron: Are we gonna eat these today?
Dwight K. Schrute: If you want.
Cameron: Is that a guillotine?
Dwight K. Schrute: This? No. That'd be cool, though. It's for milking.
Cameron: That's a cow?
Dwight K. Schrute: Did you just ask me if this was a cow?
Cameron: What are you doing now?
Dwight K. Schrute: Come here. Come on. Grab a teat with each hand. Sit down. There you go. Squeeze from top to bottom. Really pull. Use some muscle. Draw the milk out. All right. Going all right?
Cameron: I don't know.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, is the udder hot? Is the milk clumpy?
Cameron: I don't know any of that.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, you suck at this. Give me those teats. Didn't your father teach you anything?
Cameron: I never met him.

Pam: Hey, everybody. Um, I decided to eat my cupcake. I thought about it last night. I talked to Jim. I talked to my sister. And, I think that, as long as Todd Packer doesn't know, it's OK.
Phyllis: I don't care what you do, Pam. Just please stop making noise.
Pam: Phyllis!
Clark: Packer laced the cupcakes.
Pam: No!
Meredith: Did you get diarrhea or were you stoned?
Angela: Some of us got both.

Phyllis: What did you do, Andy?
Andy: Last night? Oh, god, um, I don't know. Na, nothing really. Kevin?
Kevin: Why would you ask me?
Andy: I'm not, a... I'm just. I don't know. Oh. Gosh. I actually. It is hard to recall. Um. Pretty normal night.
Kevin: My night was just like that. Meaning normal.
Andy: Yeah. I didn't see you last night at all.
Kevin: Nope. I did not see you either.

Todd: So, that's it. I just wanted to make amends. [slides cupcakes across to Darryl and Jim]
Darryl: That's big of you, man. Takes a lot of courage.
Jim: Ooh, red velvet. I should apologize too.
Todd: It's OK. I'm over it.