David: [answering phone] Hello?
Dwight K. Schrute: David, is that you?
David: Dwight?
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, thank god. Oh, thank god. Are you okay? Is everyone okay?
David: Yeah? Are you okay?
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, I'm okay. I just want you to know that I believe in you. I really do. And I believe in your ability to make the right choices. I always have, David.
David: Well, thanks, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: You're welcome, sir. But David, listen to me carefully. I'm gonna need you to let the mailman go. Okay?
David: Dwight?
Dwight K. Schrute: Walk out of the house...
David: What?
Dwight K. Schrute: ...with your hands on top of your head, everything is going to be fine. Dunder Mifflin will be in good hands while you're away in prison.
David: Okay, Dwight, I'm gonna ask you to not call my cell anymore. Gotta go.

Dwight K. Schrute: [enters the bullpen in his underwear to applause] Wait a minute, you guys? You heard?
All: Schrute! Schrute! Schrute! Schrute! Schrute! Schrute! Schrute! Schrute!
Dwight K. Schrute: [joins in] Schrute! Schrute!
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Overall, I'd say my first radio interview went pretty much the way I expected.

Oscar: I have to say I'm impressed with Kevin. Uh, he showed a lot of self-control.
[aside to camera:]
Kevin: I totally forgot about the affair for a minute. [laughs] Oscar is having sex with the senator and Angela doesn't even know. [still laughing] Her life is a complete sham!

Meredith: Hey, so that good looking single brother of yours? Heard he was on a downward spiral with booze.
Andy: Yeah. He's in rehab actually.
Meredith: Which place? The one right near Philly? I could be there in an hour.
Andy: No, it's in New Mexico.
Meredith: Oh. So, how are you holding up?
Andy: We're done, Meredith.

Andy: Yes, the boat means everything to my family, but we need the money. Got the memories, don't need the boat. Can't cry about it. What are you gonna do? Cry about it? [chokes up] Excuse me!

Pam: Hey guys, WPTU called. The interview's off. They're opening a new cupcake store at the Steamtown Mall and Iris wants to cover that, so...
Nellie: Well, why don't I go and tell Dwight so he can stop being such a complete nipple.
Pam: He's gonna be disappointed.
Jim: Yes. He is. And you know what? We cannot let that happen.

Erin: Okay, who wants to go for a super fun lunch with a super fun girlfriend?
Andy: Look, it's not that I don't want-
Erin: Okay, come on. I got someone to cover the phones, I heard on the radio about a new cupcake place we could go for dessert...perfect.
Andy: All I ever wanted to do was sail the damn thing. But dad wouldn't let me. He said "You can't be a skipper until you're a man." You know, I'd reach for the wheel and he'd smack my hand away. Well guess what? Now I'm the man of the family and... we're selling the damn thing. So I'm never gonna have the chance.
Erin: Well, when does the boat leave, exactly?
Andy: Tonight.
Erin: Then screw lunch. Let's go for a sunset sail.
Andy: Yeah right. It's in Stamford, Connecticut. We have to leave like right now.
Erin: Okay, well then let's leave like right now.
Andy: Yeah, okay.
Erin: Yeah! Okay! Let's go.

Oscar: [looking at Kevin's folder] It's clearly not an accounting mistake.
Toby: Yeah.
Oscar: So...
Toby: Kevin. His gambling problem must've resurfaced. I'm gonna have to send him home until I can do an investigation.
Oscar: Well, you've gotta do what you've gotta do.

Kevin: [on the phone] Yeah, I will be right there. [hangs up] Hey, Oscar, what if I'm getting a promotion?
Oscar: I hope that's it, Kevin.
Kevin: Me too. Cause then, I would get my own office. And I wouldn't screw up your secret with Angela. I've been really worried about that.

Toby: Hi, Kevin. Look, I need to talk to you about-
Kevin: Hi.
Oscar: Guys? Excuse me. Um, a quick word, please just..
Kevin: Oscar, we're in the middle of talking.
Oscar: You're right, I'm so sorry. Snack machine on me. [gives Kevin money]
Kevin: Oh that is nice. Classy move. [leaves]