Angela: No, the one with the long hair and the denim pants, Comstock! Okay, look. He's such a special kitty. I just want to find him a good home. He loves those pants.
Kevin: I'll take him.
Angela: Please, after the turtle?
Kevin: I am enormously proud of what I did for that turtle!

Andy: Why is Nellie still here?
Toby: You can only fire Nellie for cause.
Andy: Mmm, then I will make up a cause.
Toby: Except you just told me you were gonna make it up. Now if she sues, I have to testify against you.
Andy: Then forget I just told you that.
Toby: Can't. I took a course at the Weintraub Memory Academy. I sat next to this woman named Beverly Brook. She had a Greek salad for lunch. See what I mean?
Andy: Now I know why Michael hated you so much.
Toby: [weakly] No, he didn't.

Dwight K. Schrute: Good boy. Getting big and strong. Snack foods!
Clark: Yep, body by Cheez-it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Ah, humor. I have it too. Oh boy, I got a couple tickets to the Slayer concert ten months from now. You interested?
Clark: I think I'm busy that night. I- Or I would.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, we're both just kinda learning as we go, aren't we?
Clark: Learning what?

Clark: Hey, you know, if you're ever swamped, I could make some sales calls for you.
Dwight K. Schrute: My calls?
Clark: So could you give me a list of all your clients? Or just the leads that you haven't had time to pursue yet?
Dwight K. Schrute: You want a list of my clients? You want my leads?
Clark: Yeah, I'll just give it a glance-
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay.
Clark: I'll give it a read.
Dwight K. Schrute: With my leads and stuff like that?
Clark: Yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Cause you're interested in going into sales?
Clark: I am.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wow, that's great. That's great. Okay, good. Let's talk about that, okay?
Clark: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: You're not getting my clients! Nice try!

Andy: I wanted to talk to you about our working relationship this year. It's going to be terrible.
Nellie: Not necessarily.
Andy: No, I'm going to make sure that it is. And if it isn't, I will take immediate action to rectify that. Now, I don't like to throw around the b-word, but I'm going to be a huge bitch to you.

Dwight K. Schrute: Slack lining, please. Untie that rope, give it to a couple of pig-tailed school girls, let them start jumping with it while chanting a rhyme and giggling about boys. Doesn't seem so macho now, does it? It's a jump rope!

Jim: Oh, come on, Pete! God, that's just sad. If he doesn't watch himself, he's gonna be here for years, doing nothing. ... Wow, maybe Pete is the new Jim.

Dwight K. Schrute: Attention, employees of Dunder Mifflin. Everyone thinks the new guys are so cool cause they can slack line. Ooh! Hey Clark, this is what a real salesman looks like. They say that you only live once and I'm about to prove it. Dwight Schrute!

Andy: The new guys, alright. It's Clark and, um—
Pete: Pete!
Andy: [stuttering] In Outward Bound it was all about nicknames. They called me Iceman. You will be called Plop.
Pete: What? Why?
Andy: Cause you're always taking dumps.
Pete: No, I'm not.
Andy: Come on, everybody defecates. Relax, Plop.

Angela: Why do you want this cat?
Pete: I don't want it, really.
Angela: How would you support the cat? What are your ambitions?
Pete: I want to start my own business. I want to be a millionaire. Lots of things. Travel, make the world a better place, earn an MBA at night.
Angela: Have you taken any concrete steps?
Pete: Well, I'm still just fitting in here, you know? Getting used to the new job. But, definitely on the agenda. But that is a good idea, Angela. I should make a list.