Clark: You got this, it's all you. Got ourselves a yard sale. Balls in face. It's not a race, Dwight.
Andy: Well, it's official. Old Dwight is lame and New Dwight is cool.
Dwight K. Schrute: [bleeding heavily from the mouth] That's not true. Just give me another chance.

Dwight K. Schrute: Do you see how the trapeze completely surrounds the wire? That means it's literally impossible for anyone to fall off. So you will merely sit below and be my counterweight as I pedal across the parking lot to that telephone pole.
Pam: I will?
Dwight K. Schrute: You will. Yeah we weigh about the same, wouldn't you say?
Pam: Sure, if you weigh 105 pounds.
Dwight K. Schrute: So you'll do it?
Pam: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Come on, this will be the only thrill of your boring life.
Pam: Dwight, you may find this hard to believe, but I love my boring life.
Dwight K. Schrute: Come on.
Pam: Exactly the way it is.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, Pam.
Pam: Yes, and there's nothing you could say that would get me to run the slightest risk of losing it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Please? Please, Pam?
Pam: Find someone else. I don't know. Ask Phyllis.
Dwight K. Schrute: I can't use Phyllis. Are you kidding me? The moment she steps off this bar I'll be launched into space. God, you're so insensitive.

Pete: Why are you getting rid of it?
Angela: Allergies.
Pete: Your husband?
Angela: No, the baby. Please, it's my husband's favorite cat. He's broken up about it. It's the only time I've seen him cry other than our wedding night.
Oscar: You know what? I will take Comstock.
Angela: Really? Oh, Oscar, thank you!
Oscar: I'll come by after work and pick him up.
Angela: Yay! Oh, poor Robert. He won't get to say goodbye. He has this business dinner tonight
Oscar: C'est la vie.
Angela: Please don't teach the cat French.

Oscar: [on the phone] Yeah. Good news, tonight when you come over for dinner, you can play with your old buddy Comstock.