Dwight K. Schrute: Just how this going to be, you know? You have a beautiful round head.
Clark: 'kay.
Dwight K. Schrute: So what kind of farming you into, huh? You more of a fruit man or a root man?
Clark: Is this- Is this, like, code for gay stuff? Cause if so, that's totally fine. Like, I'm fine with it. But you should know that I'm into the ladies.
Dwight K. Schrute: Spoken like a true root man.

Angela: Attention, everyone. Comstock is still available. Oscar has been flirting with adopting him. But still hasn't given me a definite yes or no.
Oscar: Definitely no.
Angela: Fine. For any interested candidates, I will be conducting 20 minute interviews. My ideal situation would an independently wealthy cute couple with a strong commitment to education. Black or white, I'm fine with either, but not both. [to Pam] Listen, you're in this, but you need to wow me, okay?

Dwight K. Schrute: Jim, get ready for the battle of your life.
Jim: Done. Explain.
Dwight K. Schrute: The new guys. Dwight Jr. is after my job. Yeah. There is a shark hiding inside that adorable little cherub.
Jim: Oh, now I get what Pete was talking about at the sales meeting yesterday.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait, sales? What sales meeting?
Jim: The new guys called one.
Dwight K. Schrute: The new guys called a sales meeting?
Jim: Clark ended the whole thing with a karate demonstration. Did you know there was a belt above black?
Dwight K. Schrute: There's no belt above black. Is there a belt above black?
Jim: You should ask him. It's a color you would never expect. [Dwight storms off] Too easy.

Meredith: Crap. Sorry, Nellie.
Nellie: Once again, I understand that old habits die hard, but if everyone would kindly walk their refuse to the trash bins instead of tossing them, then we would—[hit in the face with trash]
Stanley: Mm, swish.
[aside to camera:]
Nellie: Oh, it's nothing to do with me. I just happen to be sitting near to where the bins are.
[also to camera:]
Andy: There are two things that I am passionate about. Recycling and revenge.

Jim: No, Pete is not the new Jim. The only we have in common is that neither of us wants to sit on Meredith's face. And if that makes him the new Jim, then every human being in the world is the new Jim.

Dwight K. Schrute: How was my summer? It was pretty mixed. I invented a new power drink made out of beet runoff. Mmm, mmm! So that's really good. But I got some disappointing medical news.
[flashback:]
Doctor: Mr. Schrute, the results are in. You are not the father.
Angela: I told you. [Dwight vomits blue liquid all over Angela]

Pam: And that was our summer.
Jim: We good?
Cameraman: [o.s.] Yeah.
Pam: Don't you guys have everything? I mean, its just a paper company.
Cameraman: Well we're more following you guys, to see how you turn out.
Pam: Oh, yeah, I guess we were kind of dramatic in the beginning. Well, I don't think anything's gonna change in our lives now. With work and two kids there's just- Nothing interesting is going to happen for us in a long, long time.

Clark: Hey, uh, does anybody know where we throw these out?
Stanley: Oh, my god. It's called a garbage can.
Phyllis: Helpless.
[aside to camera:]
Toby: There's two new guys back there with me now. They're in their 20s. And we really get along. Just three single guys. Getting into trouble.

Stanley: They're like the new Jim and Dwight.
Nellie: Oh, yes. Yes, I see that! Perfect.
Meredith: Hey, new Jim, come sit on my face.
Pete: No, thank you. My name's Pete.

Andy: And you will be called Fart cause you fart all the time.
Clark: I love it.
Darryl: Actually, Andy, we call this one Dwight, Jr.
Clark: No, I prefer Fart.
Andy: No, Dwight Jr. Infinitely better. You guys look exactly alike. Dwight go stand next to him. This is insane.
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't see it.
Clark: I don't either.
Andy: Whoa! Mind blown. It's like father and son! Dwight, you cool if we call him Dwight Jr?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes. Yes, I am. [puts his arm around Clark]
Andy: Dwight, Jr! [Dwight gives Clark a noogie]