Andy: Guys, everything is fine. I'm just here to pick up Erin. We're going to the fundraiser.
Pam: Oh, great. That sounds good.
Kevin: Wait, what? You're going to the fundraiser tonight? That's going to be weird.
Andy: Why would that be weird?
Kevin: It's going to be super weird, he just fired you last week.
Erin: Andy's just coming as my date.
Kevin: Hey, I hear you. I hope you're right. It just seems like it's going to be really, really weird.

Darryl: I need you to sign these, we got a shipment going out.
Nellie: How are things in the warehouse?
Darryl: You could go downstairs and ask them?
Nellie: The warehouse isn't downstairs? [laughs.] Is it? Is it?
Darryl: Who knew, right?

Angela: Robert, the senator and I wanted to stop by and say hello.
Andy: Hello! Did anyone order a blast from the past, with a side order of sexy?
Kevin: Oh man, this is weird!
Robert: Andrew. [Robert extends his hand.]
Andy: Oh. Wanna shake my hand, huh? 'cause I want to shake your body! [hugs Robert and laughs] I had you, I had you!

Andy: [to camera] Where do I look? It's been so long since I did one of these things? Okay, alright. What's the question? How am I doing? Umm... Great!

Andy: What haven't I been doing? Gosh, just today I was working on this rock opera that I'm writing, though it feels more like I'm receiving it than writing it.
Jim: Wow, that's exciting! But until you firm up the idea, you might want to keep it between us.
Andy: The hero lives in this dystopian future and he flies around in a spaceship that's shaped like a treble clef. And he has to sing his heart out to destroy all evil.

Senator: You know, Oscar, I really had no idea you were so passionate about animals.
Oscar: My dog Gerald is my life.
Senator: Well, if you want to get involved, call me. This is my cell. I'm more likely to pick up night, say, um, after 9... Excuse me.
[aside to camera:]
Oscar: This confirms three things: I'm right about the senator, I still got it, and poor Angela.

Oscar: I stumbled into a very dramatic situation. Angela's husband just hit on me!
Pam: Oh my god!
Oscar: I know!
Jim: Wait, what? Come on!
Oscar: We were talking about animals, he gives me his cell phone number. He was just dying for me to have it.
Jim: Okay, Oscar, I'm not saying you're not dreamy, because you are, but isn't it possible that he was just schmoozing a voter?
Oscar: Well, if you would have seen the look he gave me, he wanted to rock more than just my vote.

Andy: Hey, how are you?
David: How you doing, I'm great! How you doing, are you still with Dunder Mifflin?
Andy: No, got canned last week.
David: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Andy: No, best thing that ever happened to me.
David: That's the attitude to have. You know what, when I got canned, I was lost, right? I poured myself into this ridiculous vacuum for toys called Suck-It.
Andy: Yikes!
David: Yeah, exactly right? Then suddenly out of nowhere, the US military bought the patent from me for twenty million dollars. The point is, forget those guys, k? Move on. Good to see you, Andy.

Speaker: Before we bring out our guest of honor tonight, we are very proud to introduce a great philanthropist and a great guy. Robert California!
Robert: Thank you. Why do we love dogs? Want me to tell you why? There is no answer. Our love for them confounds reason!
Andy: Can you believe this guy?
Robert: The state senator, Robert Lipton, loves dogs. He asked me if I loved dogs. You know what I said? Yes! [laughter]
Andy: Not a joke. That was not even a joke.
Robert: Bella here was a therapy dog for ten years. When her owner passed away, she came to this organization for placement. But people don't often adopt older dogs, so Bella and eleven heroes like her are being cared for by our generous volunteers because, frankly, nobody else will.
Andy: I will! I will take all of those dogs!
Robert: Andy, that's very kind-
Andy: No, no, no. This guy can talk and talk all he wants, but it's not that complicated.
Robert: Andy, why don't we discuss this at a-
Andy: No, no, no. It's about being there for someone after it's become inconvenient for them to be around. Hello everyone, I am Andy Bernard and I am going to take that bitch home! That is a female dog reference. [points at himself] This bitch understands loyalty! Sassy human reference. Thank you, I will take Bella and every single one of her friends!

Vet: Kenny's is going to need this medication once every 90 minutes. You can administer it orally, but he's going to puke it up. So, other end is best. Don't split up Daisy and Mojo because Daisy will start to, uh... I was going to say bark, but it's more of a scream.
Andy: I'm so ready to love all of these animals. This one's even bonding with me already.
Vet: Uh, no. Kenny's a therapy dog. He apparently thinks you're in some kind of emotional crisis.
Andy: Stupid dog.