Speaker: Before we bring out our guest of honor tonight, we are very proud to introduce a great philanthropist and a great guy. Robert California!
Robert: Thank you. Why do we love dogs? Want me to tell you why? There is no answer. Our love for them confounds reason!
Andy: Can you believe this guy?
Robert: The state senator, Robert Lipton, loves dogs. He asked me if I loved dogs. You know what I said? Yes! [laughter]
Andy: Not a joke. That was not even a joke.
Robert: Bella here was a therapy dog for ten years. When her owner passed away, she came to this organization for placement. But people don't often adopt older dogs, so Bella and eleven heroes like her are being cared for by our generous volunteers because, frankly, nobody else will.
Andy: I will! I will take all of those dogs!
Robert: Andy, that's very kind-
Andy: No, no, no. This guy can talk and talk all he wants, but it's not that complicated.
Robert: Andy, why don't we discuss this at a-
Andy: No, no, no. It's about being there for someone after it's become inconvenient for them to be around. Hello everyone, I am Andy Bernard and I am going to take that bitch home! That is a female dog reference. [points at himself] This bitch understands loyalty! Sassy human reference. Thank you, I will take Bella and every single one of her friends!