Toby: After Dwight fired me, I moved to New York to write the great American novel. I have six roommates. Heh. Which are better than friends, you know, 'cause they have to give you one month's notice before they leave.

Stanley: Hey, guys.
All: Stanley!
Erin: How's Florida?
Stanley: Oh, great.
[aside to camera:]
Stanley: Yes, I'm living in Florida now. Little town called Florida City, just on the edge of the everglades. The man who delivered my divorce papers came by fan boat which was kinda fun. I sit on my porch all day, carving birds.

Woman #3: I wanna know how everyone felt they were portrayed. Was it accurate?
Meredith: I got a beef with that. Um, for the first seven years, I was getting my PhD in School Psychology and they didn't show it. Yes, I was getting hammered but, hey, it was college.

Man #1: How did it feel to see your lives played out on TV?
David: It's like seeing a documentary about how your food is made. It's kinda disgusting. You learn a lot, but I didn't wanna know any of it.
Dwight K. Schrute: With today's modern surveillance technology, we are in a constant state of being watched whether it's our government or the government of other countries, a.k.a. Google. You guys are being filmed way more than we ever were.
Pete: Uh, no one recognizes me. But not all my friends call me Plop. So... thanks PBS.

Dwight K. Schrute: The documentary series finished airing ages ago. Why is PBS sending another crew?
Camera Man: We're getting bonus footage for the DVD.
Dwight K. Schrute: Pfft, nobody buys DVDs anymore.
Camera Man: It'll be a pledge gift.
Dwight K. Schrute: PBS. The propaganda wing of Bill and Melinda Gates and viewers like you.

Andy: Yeah, sure, I'll talk about it. Why not? American's Next A Cappella Sensation aired my audition. And when I started sobbing uncontrollably, apparently that struck a chord with quite a lot of people. Not a very compassionate chord. The clip went viral, as they say... Two million hits in the first week and then the parodies started. One from the Philippines got 12 million hits. And the late night comedy guys had a field day with it. After my clip blew up, I actually got a call from the double rainbow guy and the fat Star Wars kid. Turns out they have a support group. [pause] Not really my scene.

Oscar: [on the phone] Years ago, the senator promised a left turn lane by the Arby's. So I wanna know where in the name of horsey sauce is it? Well, yeah, you... Hold on.
Dakota: Hi. I keep seeing this symbol in the accounts from last year. It's..it's all over the place. I don't know what it means.
Oscar: That's the reason Kevin got fired. It's his magic number. He used to use it to balance his accounts. He used to call it a Keleven. He told Dwight, [imitating Kevin] "A mistake plus Keleven gets you home by seven." He was home by 4:45 that day.

Nellie: Oh, I live in Poland now. The Scranton of the E.U. Thank you for flying me out here for the weekend. I'm looking forward to the reunion panel tomorrow. Can't wait to see everyone. Well, almost everyone.

Phyllis: I missed you.
Stanley: I missed you too.
[aside to camera:]
Phyllis: Lots of people think that Stanley Hudson's a mean old grump. [laughs, then sobbing] But would a grump make this? It's me. It's me.

Pam: Michael has so many pictures of his kids he had to get two phones with two numbers and he pays two bills. He just so happy to have a family plan.