Dwight K. Schrute: Good morning, Michael.
Michael Scott: Morning, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Hungry?
Michael Scott: No. I had a fish stick sandwich. Actually, I had two fish stick sandwiches. My girlfriend didn't want hers. Because I guess I'm the only aphrodisiac she needs.
Dwight K. Schrute: Fish sticks are not an aphrodisiac.
Michael Scott: Yeah-
Dwight K. Schrute: You're thinking of deer penis.
Michael Scott: It worked.
Dwight K. Schrute: Regardless. That was over two hours ago and it is now a scientific fact that you are hungry. Bagel?
Michael Scott: I don't mind if I do.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. I brought cheese too.
Michael Scott: I'm taking one for my lady friend.
Dwight K. Schrute: Excellent.
Michael Scott: Brain food. Thank you very much.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. [on the way out] You owe me.

Pam: Michael's been trying to get Jim and me to hang out ever since he started dating my mom. I don't know. I really hoped this thing would just die out, but today he's planning a birthday lunch for my mom and we have to go. No way out. No way out.

Michael Scott: Birthday lunch. Birthday lunch. There is no better medicine than birthday lunch. It'll cure all of your "Gee, I don't know if Michael should be dating my mother" and fixes all occurrences of "I don't really see them together". So, open wide Pam and take a big old spoonful of birthday lunch medicine. Take with food.

Pam: Why did I get in the car? I could have struggled. I have a whistle in my purse I didn't even blow it.

Pam: I use to love coming here. The chicken parm is good. Big part of my childhood. Oh, maybe Michael will start dating that too.

Helene: Michael, what are you talking about?
Michael Scott: [sighs] Nothing. Just life. And doing things before you die. I don't know.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Do I really want to go snowboarding? No. But I would like to if I wanted to.

Dwight K. Schrute: What's going on in here?
Oscar: Andy bought lunch.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, no. Really?
Andy: Yep, yep. Took a page right out of the old Schrute book of niceness.
Dwight K. Schrute: There is no book. There's only a survival guide.

Michael Scott: Honestly, for a long time I thought I was going to grow old with Holly. And then I met Helene. And she is great and she already knows and has done everything that I have ever wanted to do and can tell me about it. But, I think I want to do those things myself.

Toby: Pam, can I talk to you for a second?
Pam: Oh.
Toby: I heard about the hit. Just make sure it's off company property, right?
Pam: Right.
Toby: Okay, I think we should probably be okay.
Pam: Okay.
Toby: Okay. And... The- The power comes from the back foot. So it's- It's all one motion through the body. So you stay a little low and there's a twist. You keep your shoulder down and you kind of throw out the arm. Pow!

Michael Scott: It's okay, guys. I can handle this. Everybody can go home.
Kevin: We're here for the show, Michael.
Michael Scott: You're just a bunch of voyeurs. Are you eating popcorn?
Kelly: It has almost no calories.