Michael Scott: I am going to give you a raise, Pam.
Pam: Why?
Michael Scott: Because of all the good work you've done.
Pam: I have the lowest sales record of anyone here.
Michael Scott: That's- No, no. It's not about numbers, Pam. It's about attitude.
Pam: I have the worst attitude of any person here.
Michael Scott: Do you want the raise or what?
Pam: Yeah, I'll take it.
Michael Scott: Hey, Pam, Pam. With this raise there are strings attached. And the string is attached from my heart to your mean attitude.

Michael Scott: What do you want? What do you want? Do you want a million dollars? Do you want to hit me? Want me to get down on one knee and beg you or
Pam: I want to hit you.
Michael Scott: What?
Pam: I want to hit you. I'll do that.
Michael Scott: [nervous laughter] Oh... Okay, what? I don't- Are you kidding?
Pam: No. Are you kidding?
Michael Scott: No. I don't- All right. I'll take off my jacket and tense my stomach and you can just...
Pam: No. I don't think I can hit you in the office.
Michael Scott: Okay.
Pam: So, um, we'll do it after work. In the parking lot. In front of everyone. I'm going to hit you as hard as I can.

Ryan: We heard about the punch.
Michael Scott: What punch?
Kelly: Pam. She's going to punch the crap out of your face after work.
Michael Scott: I'm pretty sure we said slap.
Kelly: No, it's a punch and Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now.
Ryan: I'm getting concerned that you don't seem to understand what's going to happen. Do you?
Michael Scott: I- Mmm. I'm good.

Michael Scott: Do you and Pam ever get frisky?
Jim: Inappropriate.
Michael Scott: I mean, do you ever wrestle with each other?
Jim: All the time.
Michael Scott: Really?
Jim: Yeah.
Michael Scott: She strong?
Jim: She wants it bad, Michael.
Michael Scott: Can you stop this?
Jim: I can.
Michael Scott: Okay.
Jim: And I don't support her choice to hit you.
Michael Scott: I don't either.
Jim: But at the same time she looks crazy and I do understand her reasoning.

Meredith: Hey everybody, he's not in the men's room although the seat was warm so we may have just missed him.

Kevin: My money's on Pam.
Oscar: It's not a fight. What other outcome could there be?
Kevin: Michael could win.
Oscar: How? He can't hit back.
Kevin: Why can't you just agree with me sometimes?

Michael Scott: Pam. Pam, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry.
Pam: What are you sorry for?
Michael Scott: So many things. I don't know. It's hard to choose.
Pam: How about for dating my mom?
Michael Scott: Maybe that.
Pam: And dumping her on her birthday.
Michael Scott: Yes.
Pam: Okay. Just don't ever date a member of my family again.
Michael Scott: Okay. I promise. [Pam starts to walk away] For the record your mom came on to me. [Pam turns around and slaps Michael].
Phyllis: Holy crap.
Pam: Are you okay?
Michael Scott: No!
Pam: You're okay.