Carly: You stayed too long.
Sue: I didn't think anybody was gonna talk to me, so I choked.
Carly: Maybe we can save this. What'd you say?
Sue: I told her I had to poop. It wasn't a total lie. I kind of do. But I always kind of do. I think it's middle school.

Mike: Oh, he's gonna take her.
Frankie: How? You can't make him take her.
Mike: Sure I can. I still got a good foot on him, and some heavy-duty nylon rope in the garage. Mark my words, he's gonna take her.
Frankie: Oh, that's lovely, Mike. Every girl's dream to have their prom date dumped on their doorstep like a rodeo calf.
Mike: He'll be in a tux.
Frankie: [sighs] It's not about him just taking her because we make him take her. It's about him understanding that's the right thing to do! I mean, I don't get it. I'm a nice person. You're a nice person. How did we make such a jerky kid?
Mike: First pancake never turns out the best.

Reverend TimTom: Hello, Sue Heck.
Sue: Reverend TimTom. You're here! How did you know I needed you? You always come at just the right moments. Okay, so here's my problem. There's this girl on the news team, who's nice, so I thought I should try to make a run at the Btable, where all the cool kids sit, but I think I might have blown it, so what should I do?
Frankie: Okay, Reverend TimTom isn't here for you, Sue. He's here for all of us. Welcome, Reverend. So thrilled you could make it.
Reverend TimTom: Well, me, too. I just got back from Louisville, where they lost another roller rink. Left a lot of teens on wheels with time on their hands. Lucky we were there to put the toe stop to temptation.

Brick: Would you like to see a show?
Frankie: He's not here for you, Brick. He's here for all of us.
Reverend TimTom: Smells delicious. Little prayer before supper?
Frankie: [puts down her fork] Yes. Mm. Like always.
Reverend TimTom: [plays guitar and sings] Loaves and fishes, bread and wine Thank you, God, it's suppertime [Mike and Frankie pick up their forks] So let's eat, oh, let's eat Let's raise a glass to the fatted calf, let's eat Let's- [talks] I'm just kidding, guys. Dig in.

Frankie: So what do you think about all this, Reverend TimTom?
Reverend TimTom: Well, I really don't think it's my place to say.
Frankie: Oh, please, chime in. After all, you're the only one at the table with unquestionable moral authority.
Reverend TimTom: Well, it's tough being a teen. You know, I mean, have you tried looking at it through Axl's eyes?
Axl: No. They haven't. Not at all.
Reverend TimTom: High school is a social minefield. I mean, we adults may think it's silly, but you have no idea what's Axl's facing until you've walked a semester down those halls in his high-tops.
Frankie: But--
Axl: Ha! And this is coming from God. In your face, Mom!
Reverend TimTom: The thing is, there may only be one judgment day in heaven, but in high school, every day is judgment day.

Mike: [sighs] I know you're expecting me to apologize, but I'm not. I think you need to hear it straight. Your plays just haven't been good.
Brick: Gee, thanks for following me in here to hit that home.
Mike: No, you know what? The first show you did was good, but that's 'cause you worked on it. After that, you gotta admit, you were just making stuff up and holding everybody hostage, and that's when it got boring and endless. So I think you just have to learn that you can't do that to people. You understand?
Brick: Sure, Dad, I understand.
Mike: Good.
Brick: Just as I'm sure you understand how there are a lot of things you do that I find boring and endless. Like taking me to the hardware store.
Mike: I thought you liked our hardware store trips.
Brick: It's a slow death. Or hearing for the millionth time about your new Gore-tex gloves and how they "wick away the water." I get it. They keep your hands dry.
Mike: It's a new technology.
Brick: But I never said anything, 'cause I didn't want to hurt your feelings. You make allowances for family, Dad, 'cause it's the right thing to do.

Sue: Oh.Reverend TimTom. Are you leaving?
Reverend TimTom: Did you think I'd leave without talking to you, Sue Heck? Listen. Don't go thinking any table's too good for you and your friend. Remember, the most famous A table of all was the Last Supper, and everyone was welcome.
Sue: But Jesus isn't in my lunchroom.
Reverend TimTom: Or is He?

Carly: Are you sure you're ready?
Sue: Beyond ready.
[in slow motion: As Sue walks towards the B table, she catches a half-eaten sandwich thrown her way and throws it back. She hops over the janitor's mop as he cleans the floor. She tucks in the chair of a boy who just stood up, spins around and then sits down at the next seat.]
Sue: Hi, Samantha. Hey guys. Great news today.
Matt: Are you kidding? Samantha totally messed up at the end.
Sue: You did not!
Samantha: I totally did. Instead of saying "science report," I said "science resort." [all laugh]
[Sue signals for Carly to come sit down opposite her]
Samantha: Hey, guys, look. Now that all those cheerleaders got strep, there's a bunch of empty seats at the A table.
Matt: This could be our chance. I mean, do we go for it?
Samantha: Can you imagine entering high school as members of the A table? Let's do it.
[Samantha, Matt and her friends get up, leaving Sue and Carly at the table]
Sue: So... is this still the B table?
Carly: I'm not sure.
Sue: Probably not. Want to walk around?

Frankie: Ashley, your dress is so interesting.
Ashley: It's more of a wizard's robe. I'm really into wizards.
Mike: Oh, right. Like Harry Potter.
Ashley: Who?
Frankie: And the cape is a nice touch.
Axl: Yeah. [clears throat] So we should probably get going, so we're not late.
Ashley: But we won't go in till the big hand is on an odd number, right? You know what they say.

Frankie: Wow, Mike.You see that? We didn't give up on Brick, and now not only does he have a friend, but they're doing plays together. We are great parents. Oh! I'm gonna celebrate with a beer.
Mike: Hey, I'm a great parent, too. Grab me one, will you?