Frankie: It's so embarrassing. All right. So that's it then? I look like some granny now? I need to call my sister.
Bob: Mm. No, you don't. You've got me... And I am here to tell you that you are a vibrant young woman, full of life and beauty.
Frankie: Blah, blah, blah.
Bob: Don't take my word for it. See for yourself. Who is this beautiful lady from just last Tuesday? Ohh, and this one, with sunlight dappled on her face? And this lovely lass eating a doughnut by the copy machine?
Frankie: Wow. Bob, you have a lot of pictures of me.
Bob: Not just you. Here's Mike. The kids. [sighs] Your house at night. So full of slumbering peace. Wanna see it at Christmas?
Frankie: No, thanks, Bob.

Sean: Mr. Heck, how are you, sir?
Mike: Great, Sean. Axl, I thought you had a big school project. Why don't you stop wasting time and get to work?
Axl: Ho-ho! For your information, we are working. Our experiment is on the effects of video games on the teenage brain. First, we play 36 hours of Mutant Road Rage, and then we watch a 10-hour Wipeout marathon and see how much of it we can remember. We even got a log.
Mike: And your teacher signed off on this "experiment"?
Axl: Oh, yeah. Coach is totally cool with it. Some other kids are studying the effects of music on coma patients. [laughs] Losers! [high-fives Sean]
Mike: Hey, professor, you got a little bean dip on your log there.

Frankie: [v.o.] It'd been days, and my back wasn't any better. I still hadn't told Mike. I don't know why. Yes, I do.
[montage of Frankie talking to customers taking a car for a test drive]
Frankie: The man never goes to the doctor and still has perfect health. I'm sorry, but that's just rude.
Frankie: A plugging-in injury. Is that who I am now... A person who can't plug things in?
Frankie: [o.s.] And then he takes me to the adult diapers. I mean, come on. Look at me. I could have babies. I could get pregnant right now. Oh, turn left.

Mike: Hey, why don't you put on some heels, and I'll take you out to a nice dinner?
Frankie: Oh... I don't need a fancy dinner. I'm still enjoying this carpet remnant you got me last year.
Mike: But I got a coupon. I'll even let you get what you want, and I'll get something of equal or lesser value.
Frankie: Let's just float it to next month. It's getting late, and I gotta find this button.
Mike: Come on. It's our anniversary. I just got a clean bill of health. Maybe we'll even head home early for a little dessert.
Frankie: [v.o.] Oh, God. I hope he's talking about ice cream.

Brad: I was in a rush, so I just grabbed it myself, but come see me in "Bring In 'da Noise, Bring In 'da Funk." Matinees... Saturday, Sunday. Mondays we're dark. Toodles. [exits]
Sue: Oh, my God. I feel so bad. He's devastated.

Sean: Hey, what's this? Some kind of a poem.
Axl: Pfft.
Sean: "Feelings so strong, they can't be wrong. Like a butterfly and a dove Riding on a rainbow of love."
Frankie: [v.o.] Everyone needs a friend who will stop you when you're about to make a huge mistake. Carly was not that friend, but Axl was.
Axl: Oh, that's mine. Just, uh, toolin' around with some lyrics for a song, y-you know.
Frankie: [v.o.] Axl saving Sue? I guess video games did addle his brain.
Sean: You dot your I's with hearts?
Axl: Th-those are butts. [they high-five]

Mike: I don't have perfect health.
Frankie: Yes, you do. You said you did.
Mike: No, no. [clears throat] My cholesterol's high. I didn't want to tell you.
Frankie: A little or a lot?
Mike: A lot.
Frankie: Really? We're both falling apart?
Mike: Yep. Happy anniversary.
Frankie: If I could move, I'd kiss you.
Mike: [kisses Frankie]
Frankie: I love you. Now get me a heating pad and the remote. And don't touch me for a month.

Frankie: Oh, please. I take way better care of myself. People say I look ten years younger than you.
Mike: [laughs] What people? Your sister, when you're talking about how young and skinny you both still are?
Frankie: Whatever, Mike. You're gettin' a physical. End of story. I don't need you dyin' early and stickin' me with the kids.
Sean: Mrs. Heck! Looking beautiful, as always.
Frankie: Did ya hear that, Mike? He just... Never mind.

Brick: Wait. You lied, but your hair didn't fall out. Is that a lie, too?!
Axl: Join the club. She once told me kids who talk during Wheel of Fortune go blind.
Frankie: Brick, come on. I'm sorry.
Sue: Mom, you said you'd drive me to babysitting.
Brick: She says a lot of things!

Sue: Sean.
Frankie: [v.o.] If you have an older brother, you're eventually gonna develop a crush on one of his friends. For Sue, it happened this summer.
[flashback to Sean playfully dunking Sue's head under the water in the pool]
Sean: I'm heading out. I could give you a lift on my way home.
Sue: Let's go. I'll ride in the front seat. Unless you need to put your books in the front seat... And then I'll ride in the back seat. Or- Or I'll just wing it. If anyone needs me, I'll be in Sean's car.