Frankie: [on the phone] I'm trying to schedule a physic for my husband. No, you won't have any record of him. Just start a new file called "Mike." Tuesday? Great. Thanks. [gasps] Brick, what are you doing?
Brick: I've been making this face for an hour, and guess what? It didn't stick that way.
Frankie: [answers phone] Hello?
Sue: [on the phone] I got a situation here.
Frankie: Yeah. What's wrong, Sue?
Brick: What else have you lied about, mom? What else?
Sue: Who's talking? Did Sean come back?
Frankie: No. What's up?
Sue: Well, if he does, tell him I say hi. Anyway, the Markleys didn't leave me any diapers. Could you run out to the store and get me some? Oh, he's already double-loaded, And if it leaks, it'll ruin my cross-country sweatshirt.
Frankie: Right now? 'cause I'm really busy mopping up and... [Brick shakes his head] Maybe I was gonna mop. You don't know.

Frankie: Excuse me. Can you tell me where the diapers are?
Stock Boy: Over here.
Frankie: Oh, great. Thanks. I-I really appreciate it. I'm... I'm in kind of a big...
Stock Boy: Here you go. Uh, my grandma likes these. You're probably a small.

Sue: I didn't want to tell anybody, because I thought it was just a one-way crush, but then he gave me a ride to babysitting "on his way home." It wasn't on his way home. He lives on the corner, and I was going to Pondview Drive. That's two extra stop signs.
Carly: And remember you tripped into that fire hydrant, And he said, "You're bleeding pretty bad. You want me to get your mom?"
Sue: [gasps] Do you really think he likes me?
Carly: There's only one way to find out.

Sue: We should get these cookies.
Carly: Yes. And we should get those marbles, too.
Sue: Okay. Just be cool.
Carly: Hey.
Sue: Shh!
Carly: Hey.
Sean: Getting a snack?
Sue: [giggles]

Carly: "Getting a snack?" You are way on his radar.
Sue: But he ignored me at first. What does that mean?
Carly: My parents ignore each other all the time. Oh, my God! You're totally getting married!

Frankie: [v.o.] I was starting to feel a little better. Bob was right. Beer, frosting... Show me an old person's digestion That can handle this.

Frankie: Hey, where's my Oprah? Axl, what'd you do to the TV? [back cracks] Aah! Oh, come on.
Mike: Hey. Just got back from my physical and guess what? No creaks. No leaks. No nothin'. Picture of perfect health.
Frankie: [v.o.] That's awesome. First, adult diapers, and now I throw out my back plugging something in. No amount of frosting in the world can save me now.

Brick: Guess what, mom? Rode home with a stranger today. Perfectly fine.
Frankie: Brick, come here. We have to talk. Brick! Aah! Come to me! Come to me!

Frankie: [v.o.] Everyone needs a friend who will stop you when you're about to make a huge mistake. Carly was not that friend.
Carly: Sean is gonna love this poem. It's, like, the most romantic thing ever.
Sue: Really? Did you notice how I used three different inks to express my three different feelings? I wrote it last month, but I got too nervous to give it to him.
Carly: Are you kidding? "Emotions glinting off my braces like the work of a bedazzler." He will love this.
Sue: I don't know. Is it too crazy?
Carly: We are living in the age of girl power.
Sue: You're right. I am a woman of the 21st century, and I am gonna give it to him. Oh, my God. I'm about to give it to him.

Axl: Oh! I just got the key to the machete cabinet. God, I love homework.
Sue: Sean... Um, can I see you in the... [sighs] [opens door]
Brad: Hola.
Sue: [closes door] Oh, my God. My ex-boyfriend. [opens door] Brad, what are you doing here?
Brad: My tap class is just down the street, so I thought I'd stop by to pick up my colander. I left it here when I took your family on that magical pasta tour of Italy.
Sue: Hold on. [closes door] My ex-BF and my future BF. In the same room? This is not good. What am I gonna do?
Carly: We have to be smart about this.
[later:]
Sue: 5.
Carly: 1-2-3-4-5.
Sue: Blue.
Carly: B-l-u-e.
Sue: 3.