Chuck: The Chuck is here. The fun starts now, baby Mike.
Brick: My mom asked you to watch me?
Chuck: Not exactly. She asked Dave, 'cause he's a dad. But he had dad stuff to do, so the Chuck stepped in. The Chuck likes to keep his schedule wide open for all kinds of "life-ortunities." You don't mind if I drum while you do your baby Mike thing, do you? I bring these with me everywhere I go.
Brick: Mm. How long have you been playing?
Chuck: Since today.

Ball State Tour Guide: Welcome to Ball State, guys. My name is Marcus. I'm a junior. I'm also on the cheerleading squad.
Super Daddy Pancakes: Coming through. Sorry we're late. [chuckles] Hey, tall guy from Orson.
Mike: How you doing?
Chuck: Good. Well, you know, every day you spend with your kids is a blessing. Am I right?
Ball State Tour Guide: Great. Glad everyone's here. So, let's figure out which of you came the longest distance.
Man: Cincinnati.
Woman: Milwaukee!
Super Daddy Pancakes: Well, we didn't come from far away, but Maddie and I have this great book of old-timey ice-cream parlors, and we've been trying to visit them all and check them off the list. So if you tally up the miles...
Mike: [quietly] He asked for the longest distance, not the longest answer.
Chuck: [chuckles] Ha! We kind of know each other.

Frankie: Come on, Axl. It wasn't that bad. You're just focused on it 'cause it happened to you.
Axl: Could we please not talk about it, please?
Frankie: Fine, fine, fine. I won't talk. Let me just hold you. You know what made me mad is that the coach didn't put you back in again so you could redeem yourself. Because after you dropped the ball, the other team got so far ahead, it really wouldn't have mattered. It's just that you're usually so good. I don't know. It seems like you took your eye off the ball. Did the coach tell you to do that?
Axl: Yes, that's what he told me to do. [scoffs]
Frankie: I don't know if this will help, but I have it on my phone. It's like game film. That's a thing, right? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like here. Now, could you have picked up the ball again and... and run with it, or is that against the rules? 'Cause... 'cause it looks like after you dropped it, you just kind of stood there.
Axl: Oh, my God! Make it stop!

Mike: [on the phone] He fumbled on the goal line?
Frankie: Yep. Played for a total of 9 seconds.
Mike: Oh, damn.
Frankie: I know, and he's in a really bad place. I mean, I've been trying to explain to him that it's really not that big a deal and, you know, probably in like 10 or 20 years, no one will remember, but he just keeps telling me to leave him alone.
Mike: Well, then leave him alone. Guys don't like talking about stuff like that.
Frankie: I didn't talk to him the whole time. I mostly tried to be quiet and, you know, just hold him.
Mike: Oh, man.
Frankie: Look, I'm doing the best I can.

Frankie: [on the phone] How are things with Sue?
Mike: Uh... Fine. She's... she's... she's in the bathroom kind of crying or something.
Frankie: Crying? Why is she crying?
Mike: I don't know. Something about a tray. Stupid remote. Why don't they make them all the same?
Frankie: A tray? What tray?
Mike: I don't know! You now know as much as I do. Sh-sh-she closed the door and doesn't want to talk about it.
Frankie: What about a closed door makes you think she doesn't want to talk? A closed door means she wants to talk. [groans]
Mike: Well, clearly, we each have the wrong kid.

Mike: Sue, you... you want to talk? Or are you doing business in there?
Sue: I put the litter box back in the tub. [sniffles, sighs] So, how do we know Trudy again?
Mike: She's saving us 80 bucks. That's how we know Trudy. So... Something about a tray or something?
Sue: Oh, Dad, it was horrible. Remember when we went to the cafeteria for a snack? Well, I grabbed a tray, and... and the woman said I was in the wrong place and I had the wrong tray, and she just kept asking me, "What's your dining plan?" And I didn't know what to do, so I just dropped the tray and ran.
Mike: So, Ball State is out. That's fine.
Sue: No! Dad, that's not it. Don't you see? How am I gonna do well in college if I can't even master the cafeteria or the tours or ask any questions without creating a racial incident? Maybe I'm not ready to be away from you and Mom. Maybe I'm not ready for college.
Mike: Well, you know... [turns lights out] It'll be better in the morning.

Purdue Tour Guide: Are we all together? Okay, great. And this brings us back to the dining hall. Before you all go in and have lunch, does anybody have any questions? [Sue raises her hand after a nudge from Mike] Yes?
Sue: So, if you were starting over as a freshman, is there anything you wish you had known?
Purdue Tour Guide: Hmm. Now, that's an excellent question. Well, I wish I would have known that the blue trays were for visitors and the red trays were for meal plans, I'll tell you that.
Sue: Really. Dad, I am gonna go get some college food. Do you want any?
Mike: No, I'm good. You go ahead.
Sue: Okay.

Super Daddy Pancakes: Can you believe it? How are we gonna fill the hours when they're gone, huh? Soon, all we'll have are memories of those Sunday-night daddy/daughter dates, the Teddy-bear picnics, the scavenger hunts in the backyard.
Mike: Mm.
Super Daddy Pancakes: But, hey, it's the memories that sustain us. Am I right?
Mike: Not really. My son's at East Indiana state. And he's always home. They got a lot of vacation days.
Super Daddy Pancakes: I'm just saying. You got to savor every moment. Like, a couple of months ago, Maddie was going to her homecoming dance, and she wanted to borrow my red mustang convertible.
I mean, that car is my pride and joy.
Mike: Hmm.
Super Daddy Pancakes: But the morning of the dance, I washed it, cleaned the tires, and polished the leather... had that thing shining like new. Before she left for the night, I took a picture of her in her homecoming dress, standing in front of it. Well, here's the thing. Later, when I looked at that picture, all I could see was her and... how much time had gone. Didn't even see the car.

Frankie: Hey, Axl? I put your sheets back upsta...
Axl: [on the phone] Hey, Devin. It's Axl. [chuckles] That's cool. Um, you know, just chillin'. [chuckles] So, uh, did you do anything exciting yesterday?
Devin: Well, I went to a football game. It didn't end that well, though. Somebody blew a simple hand-off.
Axl: [chuckles] What are you talking about? I dedicated that fumble to you. What did you want? A touchdown? I thought you were different from other girls.
Devin: [chuckles] Where was that hustle on the field?
Axl: Good one. [Frankie squeals, chuckles] So, what are you doing now? You want to, like, maybe grab some food or something? [Frankie takes the stair lift back up] Yeah, I know that place. All right.

Sue: Okay, I finished my list of pros and cons. I have 75 pros and 86 super-pros. I don't have any cons, 'cause it just seems so negative, and they all tried so hard.
Mike: Hmm.
Sue: And, you know, Dad, I read that brochure about Native American Studies, and it actually seems super-interesting. I think I might even minor in it, hmm? And it'd be perfect for me, because I just love America so much.