Axl: This is awesome. Oh, I wanna join the army.
Mike: Yeah, 'cause this is what war is like.

Frankie: Hey. I've been looking for you guys everywhere. We got the blue team, right?
Mike: Yeah.
Frankie: I was this close to getting one, and then I tripped and shot myself.
Axl: Oh.
Mike: Hey, listen, I've been doing some reconnaissance. The orange team is taking cover behind that jeep over there. We gotta flush 'em out. I'm thinking one of us lays down some suppressive fire, and the other two flank 'em by going over that ridge over there. The only problem is, it leaves all three of us vulnerable.
Axl: [exhales] Ooh. Hey. I know. What about this instead? Mom, you see that white pillar over there? You run to that and draw their attention. That way we can attack from here.
Frankie: I don't know. That looks awfully far away. Won't I be exposed?
Mike: You'll be okay. Just run in a zigzag pattern.
Frankie: Really?
Axl: Well, if you yell, "don't shoot" over and over, nobody'll shoot you.
Frankie: Really?
Mike: Yeah.

Axl: Got 'em! Whoo! And we only lost Mom.

Cassidy: You know, I must really like you if I'm making out with you in this.
Axl: [chuckles] What?
Cassidy: You don't think this is hot? You look so stupid.
Axl: You look so stupid. [both laugh] [Mike opens the car door and grabs Axl] Aah! Aah! Aah! Ooh.
Mike: What are you doing?
Axl: What? I don't know. Nothing.
Mike: I'm sorry. Axl's in trouble here.
Cassidy: Okay. Sorry.

Axl: Dude. [scoffs] Bro code.
Mike: What's the matter with you? You know, your mom was really looking forward to this. She doesn't get to spend a lot of time with you, and you're going off to college next year. She was actually having fun today, being with you, and she thought you were, too. You're not gonna be in our house that much longer. You can't give us a couple hours of your time? You gotta go pick up some random girl? Let's go. We're leaving.
Axl: Look, I'm sorry I ran off, but she's not just some random girl. She's my girlfriend, 'kay?
Mike: You have a girlfriend?
Axl: We've been dating for, like, a month, but we haven't told anybody yet.
Mike: So you like her?
Axl: I really like her. [chuckles] I don't know what it is, but I just wanna spend every day with her, you know? Just wanna be with her all the time. You ever feel like that about anybody?
Mike: Yeah. My old cat at the quarry. And your mom, of course. So, a girlfriend, huh?
Axl: Yeah.
Mike: Well, good. Good. She seemed nice. Glad you told me. Come on. We should be goin'.

Frankie: There you are. Where have you been?
Axl: [to Mike] Oh, hey, um, wait. Can we, like, not tell Mom about this? 'Cause she's gonna ask a million questions and be super annoying.
Mike: I gotta tell her. I'll give you a few seconds head start.
Axl: Okay. [keeps walking]
Frankie: Hey.
Mike: [speaks inaudibly to Frankie]
Frankie: What? Who is she? When did he meet her? What's her name? How long has he been seeing her?

Frankie: [v.o.] Well, be careful what you wish for, 'cause when Sue got a special day, she wasn't kidding. We went to the doughnut place, we painted mugs, we looked for animal shapes in the clouds, went to the butter museum. By the time we got to the arcade, Mike was pooped. But I was determined to keep my energy up.
Sue: Whoo-hoo! Oh, mom, you're really good. You could have been on the dance team in high school.
Frankie: Nah, I'm not that coordinated.
Sue: Hey, why isn't dad playing?
Frankie: Uh, he's just tired.
Sue: Was he like this yesterday with Axl, too?
Frankie: Yeah. Yep, he was.

Sue: Oh, my God. Don's Oriental Food is so good. I see why Brick likes it so much.
Frankie: Yep, that was a great day.
Mike: Well, I'm beat. What do you say we head home?
Sue: No, no, no, no, no. Wait. You promised we would get to see your old prom dresses.
Frankie: Aw, sweetie, no, those are all packed away somewhere over at Aunt Edie's.
Sue: You always promise, but we never do it. And this is supposed to be my special day.
Frankie: [sighs] That's the thing about special if you overload on special, it's not as special anymore.
Sue: Axl and Brick never wanna go. If I don't go today, I'll never get to go. And then one day, when I have a daughter of my own, and she asks me what I know about my mom from when she was young, I'll just have to say "I don't know," because even though it was my special day, my mom didn't think it was important enough to...

Frankie: Here they are. Oh, wow. Yeah. This is from sophomore year. Went to prom with Billy Petchell. He drove a yellow Pacer. Mm-hmm.
Sue: OMG.
Frankie: [laughs] I know, right?
Sue: It's so pretty. Look at those sleeves. It's so glamorous. You should wear this. You could wear this to cocktail parties.
Frankie: Oh... yeah. Oh.
Sue: [gasps] Wow!
Frankie: This is from my junior prom. That was a crazy night. I drank so much... punch... yeah. We got really... excited.

Mike: I'm gonna go to the kitchen and pour myself a big glass of excitement. You want anything?
Frankie: Yeah. I want my excitement on the rocks.