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One Kid at a Time

‘One Kid at a Time’

Season 4, Episode 12 -  Aired January 16, 2013

Feeling guilty that they're ever able to spend quality time with each of their children, Frankie and Mike dedicate a day each to spending with their kids. Axl takes them to a paintball range, Sue has an extensive itinerary of 17 places to visit, and Brick wants to attend a Planet Nowhere convention.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Here you are, chillin' on the lawn with your friends. Here's one of you on the football field... in a cheerleading uniform. You were a cheerleader?
Frankie: Was I? Oh, it was so long ago. Who remembers?
Sue: You were a cheerleader.
Frankie: Well... I guess I was, but only my senior year, just because they needed somebody small for the top of the pyramid.
Sue: [gasps] So you were coordinated. Why wouldn't you tell me you were a cheerleader?
Frankie: I don't know. I mean, who cares? Look at me now. It's not like it translated into anything.
Sue: Oh, my God. You were on prom court? [Mike walks in with drinks and immediately turns back] I can't believe you didn't tell me any of this. Why wouldn't you tell me? Is it because you think I'm not that?
Frankie: No, Sue. I just... I don't know. I didn't want you to feel like you had to live up to something I did. I wanted you to live your own life and not have this idea that you had to be like me. And honestly, I know at your age all this stuff may seem important, but it's not. It's like this dress. It was such a big deal when I got it, and now look. It's hanging in the back of Aunt Edie's closet, collecting dust.
Sue: You know what? I think I would like to move my 10:00 PM reflection time to now.
Frankie: Oh, okay.

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Quote from Sue

Sue: Okay. Well, I thought about it, and... I just realized something. If you were a cheerleader, that means I have cheerleader DNA in me. I mean, you did all this when you were a senior. I've got two years left. I was this close to giving up on that dream. But there is no way now. I am going for it all. I am never gonna stop trying out! Whoo! Whoo-hoo! [Frankie drinks]

Quote from Frankie

Mike: Wow. This weekend was exhausting.
Frankie: Yeah. Thank God that's over. Least we got through it.
[As Frankie and Mike sit up, Brick is standing at the foot of their bed]
Frankie: Oh, crap.

Quote from Frankie

Brick: Sounds like you guys don't wanna go.
Frankie: What? No, no. We want to do whatever you want to do. We're just... scared that it won't live up to your expectations.
Brick: You went to 17 places with Sue.
Frankie: Did she tell you that? Because you're not supposed to talk about each other's days.

Quote from Mike

Frankie: Well, those look sharp.
Brick: Is this my day? Trying on shoes?
Frankie: Hey, you're always complaining that I just bring you back shoes from the discount bin when I'm shopping for Axl.
Brick: We're not even here for me. This isn't my day. We're running errands.
Frankie: [sighs] Ooh. Look. Wanna play with the size-y thing? You've never done that.
Mike: I sort of like these boots. What do you think, Frankie? For work?
Brick: You see? Even my special day isn't even for me. This is nothing at all that I wanted. Nothing.
Mike: That's it. I'm gettin' the boots.

Quote from Brick

Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, we both had to admit, Brick's special day was a bust. We'd have to find a way to make it up to him later.
Mike: Hey. What do you think you're doing?
Brick: What?
Mike: Pick that up.
Brick: I'll get it later.
Frankie: [clears throat] Hey, don't talk back to your father.
Brick: I wasn't talking back. I was-
Frankie: And don't talk back to me.
Mike: You know, you are developing a real attitude problem, and it's gonna stop.
Brick: But I-
Frankie: No "buts," Brick. We are sick of this. Now you better start behaving yourself, or there's gonna be a price to pay.
Mike: In fact, get outta here. This conversation is over. Go to your room.
Frankie: And stay there until you've thought about what you've done!
[Brick smiles as he walks off to his room]

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [v.o.] So was our experiment successful? I don't know. We did learn something about Axl, Sue learned something about me, and I learned that I was buying shoes three sizes too small for Brick.
Brick: [o.s.] I wanna watch that!
Axl: [o.s.] Too bad, Brick! Get your own remote!
Frankie: [v.o.] I mean, sure we have chaos, but chaos works for us.
Frankie: We are done, right? There isn't a fourth kid we forgot about, is there?
Mike: We'll find out in the morning.

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