Frankie: [v.o.] There are all kinds of tests in life.
Ashley: Hi, Axl. Now that we're going out again, what do you wanna do tonight? We can sit outside and listen to the flutter of the bat wings or, you know, bowling.

Sue: You're right. What is wrong with me? I'm a monster.
Reverend TimTom: [chuckles] Well, the thing is, Sue Heck... Oh. I don't have my guitar. Huh. Well, I'll just tell you. Uh, feeling good for your friends can be tough sometimes, especially when things aren't falling into place for you. But the thing to remember is, doesn't cost you anything to feel good for somebody else.
Sue: Oh, wow. That is so good. Hold on. I'm gonna write this down.
Reverend TimTom: And remember, you're not alone.
Sue: I know. I have my friends.
Reverend TimTom: No, I'm talking about the big B.F.F. He was always right there with you, and it's okay to let him take the wheel sometimes. Darn it. "Ridin' Shotgun with the Savior." It's the perfect song for this moment. Crackers and toast, where is that guitar? Would you hang out for just a sec till I find it?
Sue: I don't have a license. Where am I gonna go?

Sue: Okay. Let's go. Mom, wish me luck. Third time's the charm. Ha.
[montage:]
Frankie: [v.o.] Turns out third time was not the charm.
Sue: [gasps as objects hit the windshield] Oh.
Frankie: [v.o.] Neither was the fourth...
Driving Examiner #2: Train. Train. Train. [crossing bells clanging] Train!
Sue: [brakes squeal] Oh!
Frankie: [v.o.] Nor the fifth.
Sue: How am I doing?
Driving Examiner #3: You're actually doing great. Perfect, in fact.
Sue: Really? [the car swerves as Sue tries to take a look at the examiner's test sheet] I'll let myself out.

Frankie: [v.o.] As bumpy as Sue's road was, Axl's was smooth as could be. Boss Co.'s new ask a girl to prom service was booming.
Axl: [harmonizes] Prom is coming
Sean: [harmonizes] It's gonna be fun
Darrin: [harmonizes] And Ben thinks that you're the one
Girl: Yes! Yes! Oh, God, I can't believe it! Aah!
Darrin: Hey! This is so much better than the break-up service.
Sean: I know!
Axl: I agree.

Sue: It's called the Hallelujah Hoedown, subtitled "Jesus Takes the Reins." Reverend TimTom is running it. It's a fund-raiser for troubled teen tattoo removal.
Carly: That sounds amazing.
Sue: I was thinking my mom could take us there, and your mom could pick us up.
Carly: Or I could drive us both ways. [giggles] I got my license today. I passed on my first try.
Sue: Aha! First time? Really?
Carly: First.
Sue: You didn't have a problem with the curb? Because the curb's tricky. [chuckles]

Cassidy: Are you freakin' kidding me?
Axl: What?
Cassidy: I can't believe this. You do realize you've now asked every girl in this school to prom but me.
Axl: Wait. I just didn't think you wanted to go. You know, "Dances are stupid"? "School spirit's lame"?
Cassidy: They are, and it is, but, you know, it's still my prom. I mean, what is it, Axl? What's it gonna take? Do I need to fill out a form? Do I need to pay you? Is that it? Here. Here's 5 bucks.
Axl: Actually, it's $10 this close to prom. Oh, uh, okay. [clears throat] Uh, Cassidy? Will you go to prom with me?
Cassidy: I don't know. I might be busy. I'm not sure I'm free. When is it again? Uh, yeah. I think I will.
Axl: Yeah? Ha ha. Whoo!

Mike: Where's the calendar?
Brick: I don't know.
Mike: Is it Mother's Day already? I thought we had another week. Here. It's... 2009. Crap. Why don't we ever throw anything away? Damn it. I already bragged to her that I got her something great, and now I'm just gonna end up running to the drugstore at the last minute to get her some crappy gift like I always do.
Brick: Okay. Well, after that, can we swing by Brickstone and get her the thing she really wants?
Mike: You know what she really wants?
Brick: Yep.

Cassidy: Oh, my God, it's beautiful.
Axl: Have you seriously never been to a dance before?
Cassidy: Well, I protested at one freshman year for gender equality. Ooh! Is that a photo booth?

Sean: I'm gonna go get Courtney a water.
Darrin: Why are you getting Courtney a water?
Sean: Because she's my date.
Darrin: No. She's my date.
Sean: No, you brought Debbie.
Darrin: Nuh-unh. I brought Courtney. You brought Debbie.
Axl: Not so easy, is it?

Mike: [on the phone] Hey, Sue, did your mom tell you what she wants for Mother's Day?
Sue: Oh, my God. It's Mother's Day this weekend? And I didn't even remember. I have been totally going through this selfish phase. What is the matter with me?
Mike: Sue...
Sue: [gasps] There I go again.
Mike: Sue. Doesn't matter right now. Just... Did she tell you what she wants?
Sue: Yes. Something yellow. I think.
Mike: Hey. Brick. Get your face out of that thing. Who knows who's been sticking what in that? [to Sue on the phone] Go on.
Sue: I really can't remember. What kind of a person doesn't remember what her own mother asked for for Mother's Day? Wow. Reverend TimTom was right. I am being...
Mike: Yellow. Got it.