Frankie: [v.o.] Everybody knows you're much cooler if you're running with a posse. Even Brick. Yep, things were going well for my kids. Brick had a group of friends...
Sue: We did it. They approved us. We're officially roommates!
Frankie: [v.o.] Sue finally got the roommate she'd been dreaming of, and Axl was proving himself invaluable at his first foray into the business world.
Jack Kershaw: What are you doing, intern?
Frankie: [v.o.] Okay, maybe not exactly invaluable.
Axl: Hole-punching quarterly reports to put them in your binder for you, sir. Mr. Kershaw. Sir.
Jack Kershaw: Ah. Taking initiative. Going the extra mile. Much better idea than using three-hole-punch paper!
Axl: Well, on the plus side, if we ever have a party, we've already got confetti. Yay.

Sue: Oh, my god. What?! A flat-screen TV?!
Lexie: Awesome, right?
Sue: Yeah.
Lexie: And it was practically free. It was only $300. I had to get it.
Sue: Heh. How could you not?
Lexie: Right? So, your half is $150.
Sue: What?
Lexie: Yeah, $150 even.
Sue: Oh, sure. 'Cause that would be half of $300.
Lexie: Mm-hmm. I just put it on my Visa, so you can pay me back whenever. No rush... just whenever you go to the bank machine.

Axl: Oh, hey, Jack. Langdon from the art department sent down some new sketches for the fruit pie on-the-go packaging. Am I crazy, or do all the drawings of fruit pies look like him? So, where'd we leave off yesterday?
Jack Kershaw: I'm screwed, Heck.
Axl: What? No, come on. You're only down by two. You make a shot on one foot, you're up by five.
Jack Kershaw: No, I'm screwed. We all are.
Axl: But... I thought things were going great. You had that meeting yesterday where you said, "Things are going great."
Jack Kershaw: Oh, it's all a show, Heck. I can't tell the people out there the truth. They have mortgages and car payments. They don't need to know that our profits are in the crapper. But I know. I know, Heck. And now... so do you.

Sue: $142...
Frankie: [v.o.] So, Sue scraped together her birthday money, her Spudsy money, and even participated in a psychological experiment to pay for her half of the TV.
Sue: ...and my lucky $2 bill my grandpa gave me when I was born... makes $150.
Lexie: Oh. Thank you. Oh. You have a electrode thingy...
Sue: Oh! Oh. Just covering a zit. You know, college... heh... stress.
Lexie: Oh! Wait! Don't move. I am scheduling us both facials right now. Oh, and check it out... I got us a popcorn popper. And these cute little containers that say "popcorn." They were only $20 each. You can pay me back whenever.
Sue: 'Kay.

Brick: Okay, now, in this scene, Cindy, you'll be playing Karen, an idealistic widow conflicted by a recent proposal from the hotheaded but dashing Mack. And, Troy, you're Teddy, Karen's old high-school flame, and you'll stop at nothing to get her back. And action!
Troy: Look how exciting tonight is. Don't you realize it could be like this all the time? Don't say yes to him.
Cindy: Teddy, please.
Troy: But don't say...
Brick: Cut. Cindy, you can't phone it in just because you're the director's girlfriend.
Cindy: Well, maybe soon, I won't be.
Brick: That's the sass I'm looking for. Now, let's inject some of that into your performance. And, Troy, I don't know what to say. I feel like I'm watching a scene between two eighth-graders who barely know each other. One more time on that last line. And action.

Mike: How long we letting this go on? I want my couch back.
Frankie: Coffee pot?
Mike: Tried it.
Frankie: Mm. I don't know. I think this is good, Mike. He's engaged, he's excited about something. And look... Brick has a posse. We don't want to drive them away.
Brick: [o.s.] No! No, no!
Mike: Sounds like he might be driving them away on his own.
Frankie: Well, to be fair, Cindy wasn't exactly prepared. You have to be off book, Mike. You can't just show up and learn your lines during rehearsal.
Brick: [o.s.] We will stay in this scene until I see the magic I am looking for! And action!

Frankie: [v.o.] The only thing worse than having your friend become your boss is having your boss become your friend.
Jack Kershaw: Heck, I can't tell anybody this. Nobody knows but you. The apple shipment from Chile exceeded the legal pesticide limit. That means no apple pie till June.
Axl: You know, if it makes you feel any better, no one my age even eats fruit pies anymore. They're like something out of the '50s.
Jack Kershaw: And the truck drivers are threatening to strike again. "Oh, we can't drive 48 straight hours. We'll report you to the union." What am I gonna do? Shove a thousand Yodel-oos in the back of my Lexus and go door-to-door? Huh? Huh?!
[later, Axl is at his desk as Mr. Kershaw rants to him:]
Jack Kershaw: And now some kid in Missouri has found a toe in his ringdoodle. I mean, a finger, I could understand, but a toe? What are these people doing down there? Oh, look at this. Now my eye's twitching. Is this noticeable?
[later, Mr. Kershaw talks to a bathroom stall door:]
Jack Kershaw: People are depending on me. They're all depending on me. I can't breathe, I can't sleep. My hair's falling out in chunks. It's falling out.
[later, as Axl washes his face, he pulls out a chunk of his hair:]
Axl: Oh!

Sue: Listen, Lexie, I have something to tell you.
Lexie: Me first. Taylor Swift added another concert, and I called and managed to get two V.I.P. tickets. Are you in?
Sue: Oh, I'm in. I'm in deep.

Brick: Okay, I... I get it. I'll talk to them. But what am I gonna do now? The project's due tomorrow, and I don't have the final scene. [Brick and Frankie look at Mike]
Mike: No. No, no, no, no, no.
[cut to Frankie and Mike sitting in front of the fire place as Brick films them:]
Frankie: Oh, Mack, there's so many considerations... The kids...
Mike: Uh-huh.
Frankie: This is a big step for them.
Mike: Uh-huh.
Frankie: And I'm having your baby.
Mike: Who sits like this? Nobody sits like this.
Brick: Mack and Karen sit like that, okay? And you're not even saying your lines.
Mike: You should be happy I'm here.

Lexie: Oh. Well, you know, I'm not exactly rich, either.
Sue: Oh, Lexie, believe me, you're rich.
Lexie: Is it because I have a horse? He's really old.
Sue: Okay. Look, Lexie... You're great and amazing, and I so, so, so, so, so want you to be my roommate. But, honestly, I can't afford it. I mean, if you want to find someone else who you can do stuff with, I totally get it.
Lexie: What? No! You're my roommate. God, I feel like such an idiot for putting you in this position. I didn't even think. Seriously, I will pay for everything. I have, like, three emergency credit cards.
Sue: That's really sweet, but I can't let you pay. You'll think I'm a sponge. It happened to my mom once, and she doesn't water-ski anymore.
Lexie: But I don't want to do fun stuff if you can't do fun stuff.
Sue: Don't worry about me. I'm used to not doing fun stuff. Years of practice. Ugh, but seriously, do you think you can find someone else to go to Taylor Swift with? I just can't afford V.I.P. tickets.