Axl Quote #925
Quote from Axl in Film, Friends and Fruit Pies
Frankie: [v.o.] The only thing worse than having your friend become your boss is having your boss become your friend.
Jack Kershaw: Heck, I can't tell anybody this. Nobody knows but you. The apple shipment from Chile exceeded the legal pesticide limit. That means no apple pie till June.
Axl: You know, if it makes you feel any better, no one my age even eats fruit pies anymore. They're like something out of the '50s.
Jack Kershaw: And the truck drivers are threatening to strike again. "Oh, we can't drive 48 straight hours. We'll report you to the union." What am I gonna do? Shove a thousand Yodel-oos in the back of my Lexus and go door-to-door? Huh? Huh?!
[later, Axl is at his desk as Mr. Kershaw rants to him:]
Jack Kershaw: And now some kid in Missouri has found a toe in his ringdoodle. I mean, a finger, I could understand, but a toe? What are these people doing down there? Oh, look at this. Now my eye's twitching. Is this noticeable?
[later, Mr. Kershaw talks to a bathroom stall door:]
Jack Kershaw: People are depending on me. They're all depending on me. I can't breathe, I can't sleep. My hair's falling out in chunks. It's falling out.
[later, as Axl washes his face, he pulls out a chunk of his hair:]
Axl: Oh!
The Middle Quotes
‘Film, Friends and Fruit Pies’ Quotes
Quote from Mike
Mike: Sue, you got to come clean. You're too young to be in debt. It's different for us. We have a long-range financial plan where we die before we have to pay anybody off. But you don't have that cushion.
Quote from Sue
Mike: Hang on a sec. Where's all this money coming from?
Sue: Well, I've been using my Spudsy's money, and I popped all the quarters out of my 50 states collector's book, and I've been donating plasma. I'm not exactly sure what plasma is, and I don't know if you need it, but, from the way I've been feeling, I'm guessing you do.
Quote from Brick
Brick: Can you sign this form saying you take full responsibility for the school camera, editing equipment, the sound equipment, and lighting packet while it's in my possession?
Frankie: No, we will not.
Brick: Well, then I'll have to do that signature Axl taught me, 'cause I really need it for this project I'm doing for film class. Oh, heads up... I'm working on a shoestring budget, so I'm gonna be shooting it entirely in the house.
Mike: A horror movie, is it?
Brick: Well, the assignment is to take an important piece of film history and interpret it as our own. I'm thinking either Battleship Potemkin or Knots Landing. I love Knots Landing. I binge-watched all 14 seasons when we inherited that box of Aunt Edie's old tapes. Now, I know what you're thinking... Sure, Battleship Potemkin was named the greatest film of all time, but Knots Landing just has the undefinable "it." Plus it's one of the few true historical records we have of the 1980s.
Frankie: The '80s weren't that long ago, Brick.
Mike: It was 30-some years ago.
Frankie: Holy crap.
Brick: Well, I better get on it. I'll be in Sue's room, scouting locations. Also, I'm still on the fence, but the episode I'm looking at may require a small car explosion.