Frankie: Hey. Just getting home from work?
Mike: Yep. Had to catch up on some things.
Frankie: Uh-huh. You were sitting in the car with the air-conditioning on, weren't you?
Mike: Hey, you're always saying you want some alone time, and I didn't know we were putting frozen chicken down our shirts.
Frankie: Not when it's 100 degrees. When it's hot, I want people around to complain to.

Frankie: Ugh. I can never get ahold of Axl. I swear, this kid never texts me back. I don't hear from him anymore.
Mike: What do you need to get in touch with him for, anyway?
Frankie: Well, for one, he's my son, and I'd like to know he's been eating.
Mike: He's fine, Frankie. He's an athlete. The coaches make sure they eat right.
[cut to Axl drinking eating directly from a frozen yogurt machine]

Frankie: He's not picking up.
Mike: [on the phone] Hey, pal. Did you ever transfer out of Intro to Soc.?
Axl: Done. [playing frisbee] You know a cool thing about being a football player? They sent some kid over to do it for me 'cause I'm, like, way busy. Sweet!
Mike: All right, then. I'm gonna let you go. [hangs up]

Frankie: What was that? He answered?
Mike: Yeah.
Frankie: What do you mean, "Yeah"? Does he usually answer?
Mike: Yeah.
Frankie: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, so, you're saying when you text him, he texts you back?
Mike: Yeah.
Frankie: Oh, my God.
Mike: We have any dip?
Frankie: No, we don't have any dip, Mike.

Sue: Why are you still sitting in a lawn chair, Brick? You know, you don't have to be in a lawn chair when there's a perfectly good chair right there.
Brick: Unh-unh. That's Axl's. No way.
Sue: Well, he's gone now. Finally, we are the size family we were always meant to be.

Henry: I can't take it! I got to go!
Theo: Are you crazy? You can't go to the bathroom. Don't you know what happens to kids who go in there?
Brick: I heard there's an old eighth grader in there who never graduated, and if you try to run from him, your feet get stuck to the floor because of all the pee.
Wayne: Well, I heard about someone getting a royal flush.
Henry: That's a double swirlie! He drank so much toilet water that eggs grew in his stomach. And when he went to the hospital to get them removed from his stomach, spiders crawled out.

Sue: Oh. Hi.
Darrin: Hi! [hugs Sue]
Sue: What's with us and trash, huh?
Darrin: Yeah. It's like we're flies.
Sue: Yeah. So, wow. I didn't even realize you were here.
Darrin: The first rule of being a good service technician is not disturbing the occupants of the dwelling. [air conditioner rattles] Anyway, so, how's school going?
Sue: Oh, it's great. Uh, I have a ton of responsibilities this year. You may have heardI am a Junior Peer Leadership Adviser. You know, a JP-la.
Darrin: Yeah. I don't think I knew they had those.

Sue: Anyway, look at you, Mr. Repairman... man.
Darrin: Yeah. And look at you. You do something different with your hair?
Sue: Oh, I'm rinsing and repeating now.
Darrin: Me too. A lot of work goes into this.
Sue: [laughs] Well, I should probably get going. You know, all the JP-la responsibilities.
Darrin: And I should probably get back to not being able to fix this.
Sue: Okay. Well, bye. [walks away with the trash bags]
Darrin: Bye. Uh, Sue?
Sue: Mm-hmm? Oh. [puts the bags in the trash]

Frankie: [v.o.] As more tall tales of the bathroom swept through school, Brick's quest to give up liquids continued. He survived the track unit in gym class.
Gym Coach: Ten more laps! And don't forget to drink lots of water! It's hot!
Frankie: [v.o.] He survived science class, where they were studying the Sun. But what he hadn't counted on was Ms. Harvey's fifth period.
Ms. Harvey: Today, we are sampling foods from our neighbor to the south Méjico! Cuidado. The salsa is muy caliente. That's Mexican for "hot."
[After Brick eats a tortilla chip dipped in salsa, he glugs water directly from the jug]

Henry: That big kid came out and Brick didn't. Something horrible has happened. Maybe we should go in and help him.
Theo: You go. Brick and I aren't that close.
[Brick's friends cheer as he emerges from the bathroom and raises his arms in the air]
Frankie: [v.o.] So Brick was a hero, admired and respected by his fellow classmates for about 10 seconds until...
[Brick walks away with a trail of toilet paper stuck to his shoe]