Sarah: Again, we're sorry for springing this on you. I know it came as quite a shock.
Dorothy: Our hearts go out to both of you, and as soon as Ma and I have talked, we'll get back to you.
Sarah: So you'll seriously consider this?
Dorothy: Well, of course, we will. How could we not? [closes door] What a pair of loons! Ma, this does it. No more of this manhunt nonsense. I'm getting you a plant.

Sarah: Now that we've finalized our little arrangement, I'd like to propose a toast. To Sophia, whose generosity and kindness of spirit have given us a gift beyond measure.
Dorothy: I, too, have a toast. I predict nothing but disaster and tragedy for everyone connected with this travesty of an idea.
Marvin: She's not gonna be living with us, is she?

Sophia: Okay, listen up. I've got man trouble, and I need advice from someone with experience.
Blanche: I'll be happy to help.
Sophia: I hear you're a tramp, Rose.
Rose: Mama was right. Word gets around fast.

Rose: I just got a call from Thor Anderson in St. Olaf. He's going to be in Miami next week, and we're getting together for dinner and to talk about old times.
Dorothy: So?
Rose: I don't know a Thor Anderson in St. Olaf. But he certainly knew me. Boy, it's finally beginning to happen. I'm getting old and forgetting things, forgetting people who, at one time, were important to me.
Sophia: Don't be ridiculous. You're as mentally fit as you ever were. We all are.
Rose: Oh, thank you...
Sophia: Sophia.
Rose: Sophia.
Sophia: You're welcome...
Rose: Rose.
Sophia: Rose.

Rose: I haven't the slightest idea who that man is.
Dorothy: Rose, what is wrong with you? I mean, why didn't you just tell him that you don't know who he is?
Rose: And hurt an old friend? Boy, Dorothy, no wonder nobody likes you.

Sophia: I just want you to know, Marvin, since this is our fourth date, I wouldn't blame you if you tried to steal a little kiss.
Marvin: That's because you're very understanding.
Sophia: Maybe I'm being a little too subtle here. Give me your hand, Marvin. Now, what do you feel?
Marvin: A MedicAlert tag?
Sophia: It's my heart. Can't you feel it pounding?
Dorothy: [entering] Would anyone here care for an-
Sophia: Get out! Get out! Get out!

Thor: Oh, boy, you and me snuggling on a couch, brings back a lot of memories, doesn't it?
Rose: Actually, no. That's what I want to talk to you about. Thor, ever since you got here, you've been talking about things we did and things we said, and I don't remember any of it.
Thor: So you don't remember every little detail. At least, you remember what's important. You remember the kiss, our first kiss.
Rose: Well...
Thor: This doesn't make any sense. Rose, maybe you don't remember because you've suffered some brain damage. [Blanche laughing off-screen]
Rose: Thor, the one thing I do remember is that I only went out with you because of Charlie Nylund. I used you to make Charlie jealous. It was Charlie I loved, not you.
Thor: Oh, I I feel so stupid, so incredibly stupid. Do you know what it's like to feel this stupid? [Blanche laughing off-screen; Rose hits the kitchen door]
Blanche: [o.s.] Ow!

Sarah: I'm afraid there's been a mistake. We're here to see Sophia Petrillo.
Dorothy: Oh, won't you come in?
Sophia: Are you Marvin from the ad?
Sarah: Yes, he is. And are you Sophia?
Sophia: Well, he doesn't look like he'll kill me. Yeah, I'm Sophia, and only one little question remains. Who the hell are you?
Sarah: I'm Sarah, Marvin's sister. Marvin, don't you have something for Sophia?
Marvin: Here.
Sophia: Hey, it talks.

Dorothy: You know, I always hoped my mother would meet a nice couple.

Sophia: Hey, listen to this. "Older gentleman seeks lady of refinement. I like moonlit nights, romantic Italian dinners and waking up in the morning. If you're old enough to remember when Sinatra was skinny, please send letter and photo." This is the one. He's perfect. I found myself a man.