Mary Ellen: Oh, please, stand up and introduce yourself.
Dorothy: I'm Dorothy Zbornak.
Sophia: I'm Melanie Griffith.
Mary Ellen: Hi, Dorothy. Hi, Melanie.
All: You're special.
Sophia: You're nuts.

Blanche: I cannot believe this. I have a great guy like Steven just crazy about me, and I'm wasting my time here with these grinning idiots. Let's go home.
Dorothy: We said we'd stay till after the meeting.
Sophia: Just a word of caution - don't doze off. I think that's when the pods take over your body.

Dorothy: Ma, I'm talking about my negative thinking.
Sophia: I know what you're talking about. Remember what your cousin Frederico used to say: "People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass."
Dorothy: Ma, Cousin Frederico was a hopeless alcoholic who played boccie ball with an imaginary friend named Little Luigi.
Sophia: Kind of puts that dripping faucet in perspective, doesn't it?

Steven: Hi. Hi, Sophia.
Dorothy: Steven, nice to see you again.
Steven: Dorothy, it's nice to see you. Do you mind if I get a drink? I must have sweat off ten pounds today.
Dorothy: You played a lot of tennis?
Steven: Tennis, yeah.
Blanche: Yeah, right.

Blanche: Dorothy, do you think I'm dressed OK for the dog races?
Sophia: That depends. Are you competing?

Blanche: Sophia, nothing you can say is gonna bother me, and you know why? 'Cause when I'm with Steven, I don't know, I get goose bumps, I feel all tingly.
Rose: Oh, I understand what you're talking about. I feel the same way when I hear the words, "And filling in for Doc, Tommy Newsom."

Dorothy: This is terrific! Terrific! Blanche took a positive step and positive things are happening in her life. Maybe it'll work for me. You know what I'll try to get? A man who is open, caring, honest, who has eyes only for me.
Sophia: Pussycat, you got your roast beef. Don't push it.

Blanche: It doesn't make any difference, Dorothy. I know what I have to do. In this case, I'm gonna put me first.
Sophia: Ooh, now, there's a radical shift in priorities.
Blanche: Look, I just don't feel like making this kind of emotional investment.
Rose: But Blanche-
Blanche: You don't understand. I lost one man I loved when George died. I just won't do it again.

Blanche: Oh, my God, what's happened? Is he all right?
Woman: He'll be OK. I just hate seeing him like this.
Blanche: Oh. Are you a relative?
Woman: I'm his wife.
Blanche: His wife? He told me his wife died years ago.
Woman: Oh! Oh, he did, did he? You louse! You crumb! This is who you're cheating with now? A woman in her 60s? We're through. You'll be hearing from my attorney. He's all yours. Enjoy.
Blanche: You're not Steven!
Steven: I'm over here, Blanche.

Sophia: Hi, Blanche. How are you?
Blanche: Oh, never mind me. How about you?
Steven: Coming along. The doctor told me to keep my life nice and dull. No more excitement for a while. By the way, thanks for the flowers.
Blanche: It was the least I could do.
Steven: I thought so too.