Erica: Will you two dopes shut up? My God, this trip sucks. At least it's the last one we'll ever take together.
Adam: Until Mom forces us to do this all again next year.
Barry: Dummy, we're going off to college. We're not doing this again. Ever.
Erica: Yeah, we're not just moving out. We're moving on for good.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] In that moment, I realized our family was truly going their separate ways. No more crazy adventures with my brother or sister. And no more middle seat.
Adam: I'm okay with it.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] But there was one person who would never be okay with it.

Adam: Why didn't you get a slushie? They had your favorite... Blue.
Barry: Real men don't drink that delicious crap. They drink boiling-hot coffee.
Adam: But you hate coffee.
Barry: That was Yesterday Barry. But now my taste buds and skittish tummy have matured. [drinks] How could you put this in your body? Ugh! I love it.
Adam: Okay, Bar, clearly I freaked you out about starting college...
Barry: I'm not freaked out! If anything, I'm freaked in!
Adam: That doesn't mean anything.
Barry: You don't mean anything! You're a tiny boy who doesn't know the struggles of a fully grown college gentleman! [gulping] Hot! Hot! [drinks Adam's slushie]
Adam: This is hard to watch.

Adam: But the good news is we'll be in Anaheim in two days.
Beverly: Change of plans! I've got a surefire way to make sure everybody loves this vacation... Make it way longer!
Adam: Oh, balls.
Beverly: We are gonna hit every major attraction from here to California.
Adam: But that'll take forever. What about my "Star Tours" ride?
Beverly: Schmoopie, it's about the journey, not the destination.
Barry: Ha! You have to appreciate the journey!
Beverly: Ah, see? Barry's excited! Who else?
Erica: Might as well, my relationship is probably over.
Beverly: See? Another one of my babies didn't say no! Murray?
Murray: I don't care what we do, as long as it's free.
Beverly: Ah! See? Everyone's in and happy and we're making memories, and this is gonna be the best Goldbergs vacation ever! [laughs] Say, "Cheese"!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And so we saw America. In all its weird and magnificent glory. There were sculptures made of cars, mountains made of faces, one big hole. But what took our breath away the most was the crappy motel our dad insisted staying at.
Beverly: This is the kind of motel where people live full-time.
Erica: Uh, it's gross.
Murray: It's cozy.
Adam: There's police tape around the pool.
Murray: That shows the police have already been here. So it's safe.

Adam: Do you think this will affect our time at Disneyland?

Murray: Barry, this is all your fault! You and your stupid bed massager.
Barry: I know! I'm not a man! I'm starting college, but the truth is I still feel like a boy. Like sad, pathetic little Adam here.
Adam: Hey!
Erica: Will you shut up? I mean, look at this! Now I'll never get to a phone and learn the truth that I definitely don't wanna know!
Adam: My God! You're both just selfish jerks! You know, I actually thought I was gonna miss you next year, but good riddance!
Beverly: Stop! Tell me the truth... Are you all gonna head out the door for college and never look back? [the kids all look away] I see. [sighs] Every one of these pictures breaks my heart. You all look sad or angry or miserable. And that is not what I wanted.
Murray: Bevy...
Beverly: No! Let's just go home and be done with it. I can't take another day of family vacation if this is the last one I'm ever gonna have.

Geoff: [car horn honks] Hey, Goldbergs, need a lift?
Murray: Thank God! Everybody get in! Come on!
Erica: Geoff! How did you find us?
Geoff: Well, you left my dad a lot of very upsetting messages, so I drove here as fast as I could. I followed your suitcases like bread crumbs!

Erica: So, what did you want to talk to me about?
Geoff: Well... I had such an amazing time doing nothing this summer, that I want it to continue. I'm not going to school in the fall.
Erica: Oh, my God! That's it?
Geoff: Well, yeah. I mean, it's a pretty big deal. My dad's not thrilled. And your messages didn't exactly fill him with hope for my future.
Erica: You jerk! I thought you were breaking up with me!
Geoff: What? Never. You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Erica: I never doubted it.

Adam: Hey, Bar. About what I said.
Barry: No, you were right. I'm not ready for college.
Adam: Of course you are. You're Big Tasty. You attack everything you do with the full force of your being. Trust me, college is gonna be a piece of cake for you.
Barry: You really think so?
Adam: I know so.
Barry: Thanks, Ad-Rock.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Venturing out can be scary, but it's easier to take that trek when you're riding with the people you love. Family vacations are hard. They're stressful and expensive, and uncomfortable. But the thing that makes them great are the memories of doing it all together.
Adam: We're really here. Thank you, Mama.
Beverly: Anything for you, schmoo.
Adam: Maybe next year we can go to Walt Disney World.
Barry: That sounds pretty cool.
Erica: Yeah, I guess I'd try it.
Beverly: Wait... You guys would wanna do this again?
Erica: I'm open to it.
Beverly: [gasps] Ah! My schmoopies will be with me forever!