Erica: Dude, you've done something special every single day.
Geoff: Aww, you noticed.
Erica: Oh, I've noticed. The flowers, the mix tapes, the Mariachi band that was really nice at first and then they overstayed their welcome.
Geoff: Okay, well, did you ever think that I do all this to compensate for what you do, which is nothing.
Erica: I'm on winter break! I'm supposed to do nothing!
Geoff: I'm just saying, it would be nice if you went all out for me once in a while. Where are my rose petals and mariachis who play three songs too many?

Barry: Looking for a posse, eh? You've come to the right place.
Adam: Yes! Barry's rudely butting in like he always does.
Barry: It's your lucky day, 'cause I happen to command the greatest friend group ever assembled The JTP!
All: JTP!
Beverly: Oh, that's fun. You say three letters to them and they always scream them back at you.

Beverly: Look at me, Ginzy.
Virginia Kremp: I'd rather not.
Beverly: Look at me right now.
Virginia Kremp: Mm-hmm.
Beverly: It's you and me until the day you die.
Virginia Kremp: Okay, okay. There you go.
Beverly: We'll be just like The Golden Girls and you'll be Sophia!
Virginia Kremp: What? The grumpy older one?!
Beverly: Exactly. Just look at your face. You're totally her, you goofy old bat.

Murray: Why the hell are my stairs covered in garbage?
Erica: That was all Geoff. Yeah, he threw a bunch of wildly dangerous rose petals all over the place. Which I adore!
Murray: This isn't a damn botanical garden. Go get a broom, Schwartz.
Geoff: I see where you get it from.
Murray: Is he going to go get a broom or what?

Virginia Kremp: Well, we could certainly use your help. We have a huge agenda tonight, winter formal planning, fundraising-
Beverly: Creating a tight-knit group of friends so we don't die alone. Think about it, Ginzy. You and me, living it up in a Miami bungalow like sisters.
Virginia Kremp: Um, I kind of have actual sisters that I can live with.
Beverly: Well, your sisters can [bleep] themselves. I'm sorry, but they can.

Beverly: You know, we really do make one heck of a ski committee, huh?
Linda Schwartz: Yeah. You know what, I think we could make a pretty damn good group of friends.
Beverly: What are you saying?
Virginia Kremp: We're saying after this, we should find a restaurant that has cheesecake on the menu.
Essie Karp: And white zin!
Beverly: Essie, you are such a Blanche!
Essie Karp: I really am!

Virginia Kremp: Hey. Haven't seen you at the PTA in a while.
Beverly: Oh, I know, I've been so busy, and also I was banned for complaining about the crappy sangria last time. But here I am, and everyone's too afraid to say anything to my face!

Barry: Okay, let's review everything I taught you about being a bodacious leader of a friend group.
Rule 1.
Beverly: Always bust balls.
Barry: Yes! Friendship is about breaking down the walls to figure out what really bothers a person. Rule two?
Beverly: Pick a badass name for the group and yell it as often as possible to display a terrifying show of unity.
Barry: I chose the JTP, three letters, but powerful.
Beverly: Well, I'm looking for my Golden Girls, so I chose Goldberg Girls. Goldberg Girls!
Barry: Rule three?
Beverly: Uh, create opportunities to bond.
Barry: May I suggest lighting your farts? It's really brought me and my friends a lot closer.
Beverly: I was more thinking we would bedazzle matching sweaters, like fashionable street toughs.
Barry: Ah, very lame. So it's perfect!

Beverly: Shmoops. The Golden Girls are on. Come sit. We'll watch and picture how we'll spend our golden years together.
Adam: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Do you actually think you and I are going to share a house when we're old?
Beverly: No. [chuckles] Barry and Erica will be there, too.

Erica: Wait, I was wrong. It wasn't his first love, Dana, it was you, the new one.
Adam: Stop talking.
Erica: The better one.
Adam: Stop talking.