
‘The Goldberg Girls’
Season 5, Episode 11 - Aired January 3, 2018
Beverly seeks Barry's help to assemble a friendship group like The Golden Girls. Meanwhile, Erica fights her Murray-like instincts to give Geoff a big romantic gesture.
Quote from Adam
Adam: I surprised Jackie by writing romantic lyrics to music from her favorite sci-fi movies. ["Also Sprach Zarathustra" plays] Youuuu Arrre Soooo Pretttty And nice and cool and smart And funny and strong and pretty. [Music stops]
Quote from Adam
Jackie: Like, on my birthday, Adam brought me a cake and we sat on the dining room table to eat it together.
Adam: "Sixteen Candles".
Jackie: And on Valentine's Day, he painted this amazing portrait of me.
Adam: "Some Kind of Wonderful".
Jackie: And on our anniversary, he showed up on a lawnmower and we rode off into the sunset together.
Adam: "Can't Buy Me Love". Not a Hughes flick, but clearly influenced by the master.
Quote from Beverly
Coach Mellor: Settle down, people. PTA is in session. First order of business, we need a group of volunteers to organize a senior ski trip.
Beverly: Rick, I'll head up the senior ski committee. Virginia Kremp's in, too.
Virginia Kremp: No, I don't even have a kid in the senior class.
Beverly: I just need two more volunteers.
Ruben Amaro, Sr.: I can help.
Beverly: No! Sorry, Ruben Amaro Sr. I didn't mean to yell, but sit down.
Ruben Amaro, Sr.: But my son loves that trip.
Beverly: And we love Ruben Amaro Jr., Ruben Amaro Sr., but this committee is ladies only.
Quote from Erica
Lou Schwartz: Why are you mowing my lawn?! It's the middle of winter!
Erica: Damn it. It's stuck. Get off my lawn!
Geoff: Erica? What are you doing?
Erica: This is supposed to be like that movie "Buy Me Some Love".
Geoff: "Can't Buy Me Love"? I thought you said that was a corny chick movie.
Geoff: What's the hold up, man? Just come down here and take my sweet romance already.
Lou Schwartz: She's not very good at this, Geoffy.
Quote from Erica
Erica: I know! Doing this stuff just makes me feel so stupid.
Geoff: That's the whole point. You're supposed to be vulnerable for the person you love!
Lou Schwartz: Geoff! Come down and push her out!
Erica: It's fine. I got it. Oh, no! No! No! No!
Lou Schwartz: My Peugeot!
Geoff: Dad's Peugeot!
Erica: I am so sorry. I'll pay to fix it.
Lou Schwartz: You got to order the parts from France! It's a whole thing!
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: There they are. The fearsome foursome is back together again. Come in. Come in, I made cheesecake. I'll dish while we dish.
Quote from Adam
Adam: Wow, you really are a closed off Murray.
Erica: No! I refuse to accept that. Now, give me another cornball movie that'll show Geoff he's my number one fella.
Jackie: Oh, you know what Adam did for me that was amazing? He stood on my front lawn with a boombox over his head and played "In Your Eyes".
Adam: "Say Anything".
Erica: Wait, I thought that's how you got Dana.
Jackie: What?
Adam: What?
Jackie: What?
Adam: What's that?
Jackie: What?
Adam: What?
Jackie: What?
Adam: Wha--
Quote from Barry
Beverly: Well, that's a kick in the downstairs stuff.
Barry: This is the classic friend diss, like the time I only had three tickets to the Eagles game and told Matthew we all got stuck in an elevator.
Matt: What?
Barry: Do you mind, I'm helping my mom here. They're meeting without you, just like we all met for ribs after the Eagles game.
Andy: Stop telling him about our special day, dude!
Matt: I'm trying to be cool about this, but it's getting hard.
Barry: It's not always about you, Matt Bradley! And don't be a Matt Bradley. Be the Barry and take charge.
Quote from Beverly
Essie Karp: I don't think you can do that.
Beverly: Ooh! Sassy. I like the cut of your jib, Essie Karp. You're in, you giant floozie.
Essie Karp: I don't know how to reply to that.
Beverly: And last but not least Linda Schwartz, you're just what I need.
Linda Schwartz: Actually, I'm on two other committees.
Beverly: Well, that's on you for overextending yourself like a big, dumb airhead. [laughs] Every group has one, am I right? We're good to go, Rick. What do you say?
Coach Mellor: It's weird, Beverly. It's really weird.
Beverly: Yay! We're going to be best friends! I mean, a very good committee.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Well, well. If it isn't the Goldberg Girls, minus the Goldberg.
Essie Karp: Beverly, great news. Our pink eye and our scurvy cleared up.
Beverly: It was whooping cough, and save it.
Linda Schwartz: Look, we didn't want to hurt your feelings, but the ski trip is tomorrow, and we still have a ton of work to do.
Beverly: Skip it, Linda. And to think I wanted to live with the three of you in a beautiful Miami bungalow with wicker furniture and bright floral patterns.
Essie Karp: Is that what this is about? You forcing us to be your Golden Girls?
Beverly: Well, I don't know about "forcing", but maybe "tricking".