Murray: I like that Steve Guttenberg. He's got a lot of range.
Barry: Dad, don't you care about what you just saw? There could be a mushroom cloud outside our window at any moment.
Murray: I say, "Bring on the cloud," 'cause then maybe you'll shut up and I can get back to watching my shows.

Mr. Glascott: Okay, students, even though we warned you all not to watch that terrifying TV movie, apparently everyone in this school did, as well as 100 million other people. Therefore, we are going to have an emergency meeting entitled "The Day After 'The Day After.'"
Coach Mellor: Of course, the gym is booked, so it'll be "The Day After The Day After 'The Day After.'"
Mr. Glascott: So, Wednesday.

Erica: Well, you're just gonna have to back down. Your dumb thing is way less important than college.
Adam: But when will I have the chance to rub cocoa butter on my lady's shoulders again?
Erica: Honestly, I can't imagine you ever will.

Beverly: Emory may be a thousand miles away, but with the love of my children and 20 flights a year, we will manage. I'm gonna get my pilot's license.

Beverly: Whatcha up to, schmoopa-lumpa?
Adam: Oh, I'm just finishing up a little goodbye video for Erica.
Beverly: Aww. It's a little early for goodbyes, wouldn't you say?
Adam: Well, before you know it, she'll be gone to college and only coming home on holidays.
Beverly: I guess that's true.
Adam: And then, junior year, she'll fall for a handsome Southern fella and get married, and then she'll see his family for the holidays.
Beverly: But then I won't see her at all.
Adam: Well, she'll come home occasionally. Until she has kids and then travel gets too hard with the twins.
Beverly: Well, the twins are as much mine as they are hers. She's gotta visit!
Adam: She has no time. The twins are in school, and Erica got a job working the front office there and it's way too consuming. Anyhow, let's watch that movie.

Barry: Pops, we need to talk. As you can see, I've been hard at work on the chalkboard.
Pops: Okay, why are people always dragging chalkboards around this house?

Barry: There has been a great betrayal, and I find myself bunkerless.
Pops: Just get to the chalkboard.
Barry: I've created a list of my greatest assets. Do you think they'll help me survive when this world turns into a radiated, barren wasteland?
Pops: Is this about that terrifying "Day After" movie? Woof, that gave me the willies.

Barry: No! You're supposed to be my wise and reassuring grandfather that tells me everything's gonna be okay.
Pops: I'd like to, Bar, but look at this list. You don't have a single useful skill, and I'm old! We'll be the first to go when the end comes.
Barry: That's not comforting.
Pops: Tell me about it.

Erica: I hope it was worth it, because you just lost a sister. [smashing Adam's food]
Adam: My Teddy Grahams!
Jackie: What was that?
Adam: They're little graham-cracker cookies shaped like teddy bears.
Jackie: No, I know what Teddy Grahams are, Adam.

Beverly: You grew up so fast.
Erica: Yeah, but I'll always be your little girl.
Beverly: I know, and I'll always be your mama, no matter where you are, even if it's Georgia.
Erica: Georgia? You mean?
Beverly: It's like I say. With the love of my children and 50 flights a year, we'll manage.
Erica: You said 20 flights.
Beverly: We'll figure it out.