Murray: I think you're more like that one with the Ronald McDonald hair.
Adam: You mean Molly Ringwald?
Murray: Melanie Grizwald.
Adam: Molly. Ringwald.
Murray: I don't hear a difference.
Adam: You should.
Murray: Yeah, well... She just shows up and everything worked out, just like it can for you.
Adam: I don't know, prom already started.
Murray: Didn't stop Mopsy Rainbird.
Adam: Dad, I appreciate it, but life doesn't work out like in the movies.
Murray: Usually not. But every once in a while, you get a movie moment. And whether you do something with it... Well, that's up to you.

Barry: No! The Flyers lost! You suck, Ron Hextall! It's okay, Big Tasty. It's just a game.
Geoff: Barry's trying to TEEF himself.
Erica: No way. It can't be done.
Barry: Look at me.
Geoff: Wow. He's really lockin' eyes with himself.
Barry: We've been there before, but this too shall pass.
Geoff: He really feels for himself.
Erica: Yeah, but he needs food to finish the job, and we're out of popcorn.
Barry: It's all kernels! Ugh! Ugh! I hate you, Flyers!
Erica: And... he's learned nothing.

Geoff: Thanks, hon. I needed a break from the hospital. There was a baby in the maternity ward that had a full head of black hair. Like a tiny anchorman. It was very unsettling.

Barry: I came as soon as I heard. First question, who needs a hug? [hugs Geoff] There you go. Know you are loved.
Linda: Geoff, are you crying?
Geoff: No! Yes! I am! I'm sorry!
Barry: Let it out. Tears are the words the heart can't say.
Lou: My heart quit a job it had for 67 years.
Barry: Lou, look at me. I'm getting the best care available for you. The best. I'm pre-med, so you know I mean business.
Lou: Your words are meaningless. But your firm and encouraging tone sets me at ease.
Barry: Where's the doctor? As your advocate, I'm gonna need more tests. Many of them unnecessary, expensive, and invasive.
Linda: I don't know why, but I'm gonna get him.
Barry: Sit, Linda. You need your strength. We all need your strength.
Linda: Barry, I am so glad you're here. I feel a calmness washing over me.
Barry: Good. Let me be your human bubble bath. I'll be right back and you can all soak in me.

Erica: Dude, guess what I just bought.
Geoff: Something excessive and frivolous, like another indoor vertical tomato garden?
Erica: That sounds awesome, but no. I got stamps!
Geoff: For mailing stuff? Wow. You're kind of an adult!
Erica: I'm all the way adult! I don't know why people are always complaining about it. It's easy. Well, I did my thing for the day, so now it's sweatpants o'clock.

Geoff: Dad, thank God. Are you okay?
Lou: Part of my heart died because of a lack of blood flow. Yeah. I'm a regular Bo Jackson.
Geoff: Dad only uses sarcasm when he's vulnerable!
Linda: Oh, it's gonna be perfect and fine.
Geoff: Mom's sugar-coating everything 'cause she's in denial!
Erica: It is nice to know that you have this all under control, so I am just gonna scooch on out of here. And... [opens door] Oh. Okay. That is a bathroom with a chair in the shower.
Geoff: You can't leave now. I-I need you here.
Erica: In this room? With all the... beeping and the tubes filled with fluid going into your dad? And... Oh, God, that one seems to be going against traffic!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Brea and I had held hands, couple's skated, shared off-campus lunches, and went for ice cream. But she was the most popular girl in school, and I never quite knew where I stood. What I did know was I was about to ask her to prom.
Adam: Hey, Brea...
Brea: Let's go to prom.
Adam: You're asking me? Tables turned! Women can do it! Working Girl. Melanie Griffith. Sexy, but competent. Let the River Run.
Brea: Is there a yes in there?
Adam: Yes! A thousand times yes!
Brea: I'm so excited!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And while the moments that followed might not have happened exactly this way, here's what it felt like.
[Adam dances down the hallway as Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" plays]
Sydney: Don't touch me, freak!
Adam: With pleasure.
Johnny: Give me your lunch, Goldnerd.
Adam: It's my mom's meatloaf on pumpernickel. You're in for a treat. Three, two... Basketball.
JC Spink: That's my dad's ball. I'm not supposed to get trash on it!
[As Adam dances by the lunchtables outside, he grabs somebody's drink and throws it]
Girl: [o.s.] Hey!
[Adam dances into the gym as the cheerleaders practice]
Coach: Let's go, girls! Five, six, seven, eight!
Cheerleader: Who's the short-haired girl?
Adam: It's me! Go Quakers!
[Adam dances into his class and signs a girl's cast]
Girl #2: Hey! I don't even know who you are.
Adam: Read your arm!
Mr. Woodburn: Goldberg, stop dancing to your inner soundtrack!
Adam: Dance with me!
Mr. Woodburn: This isn't infectious! Get off me!
[As Mr. Woodburn pushes Adam out into the hallway, Beverly catches him]
Beverly: Oh!
Adam: Mom! What are you doing here?
Beverly: After last week, you probably need a new pair of rescue underwear for your locker.
Adam: That's the worst thing I've ever heard, but I don't care! Jitterbug!

Adam: Okay, I got Footloose, Back to the Future, and the John Hughes tour de force Pretty in Pink.
Dave Kim: In the real world, Molly Ringwald would never end up with the handsome rich kid, Blane.
Adam: Then who? Duckie?
Dave Kim: They deserve each other. Him with his dumb hats and her with that crappy dress.
Adam: That dress is iconic! They named the movie after it!
Dave Kim: It wasn't even flattering. Too much frill and those puffy arms. Not for Dave Kim.
Adam: Thank God the fashion house of Dave Kim has weighed in.
Dave Kim: I know two things. Fashion and women. Brea will obviously be voted prom queen, while you'll be left in the shadows, literally, holding her tasteful, beaded clutch.
Adam: That's nonsense, Dave Kim.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was true. For my mom, making me prom king meant nothing was off limits.
[montage:]
Beverly: We legally change your name to "Prom King." People will check it on the ballot 'cause they're dumb.
Beverly: We have one of my bras sticking out of your backpack. I'm thinking my black lacy one, but you pick your favorite.
Beverly: We use a cool new student, Don Steele, to split the popular vote. Don Steele's secret? He's me.
Adam: Those are technically options and also some crimes.