Andy: Well, I'll have you know Barry never reads.
Naked Rob: He's more of a TV guy.

Barry: They just called me a four-eyed nerdling. That's so hurtful. Who talks to people like that just because they wear corrective lenses?
Adam: You? Almost every single day of my life?
Barry: Well, yeah, 'cause you're a four-eyed nerdling... Oh, no! I get it now!
Adam: You're just now getting that being called a nerd is hurtful?
Barry: Yes. Now that I'm affected, I care.
Adam: Great. 'Cause we actually have a chance to stand up and fight back.
Barry: No, guys I can't wear these things.
Adam: What's the worst that happens?
Barry: Look, there's a reason I refused to admit I needed these things. Yeah, I act all cool, but I'm not. And these glasses will just make it worse. I'm sorry. I can't do it.

Adam: Oh, God! My tender boy body.
Barry: Adam?
Adam: Barry? Are you dead, too?

[The Troggs' Wild Thing plays]
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Barry didn't just come back to our team to defend my honor, he returned to show the world he was finally done with hiding who he really was. Yep, it's true. After years of calling me a four-eyed Dork Lord, Barry Norman Goldberg now had glasses.
Principal Ball: What is this song? Where is it even coming from?
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Oh, yes. Just like his hero, Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn in Major League, Barry could finally see clearly, and he'd use it to win once and for all. [Adam winces] Except he didn't. That day, Barry didn't use his new glasses to strike out the other team. Instead, he struck 'em down, and it felt glorious.
Umpire: You're out of here!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] In that moment, I had a new sports hero Barry "Wild Thing" Goldberg.

Beverly: Hey, get up.
Erica: What?
Beverly: You heard me. Get up. Get dressed. Maybe run a comb through your hair.
Erica: Why? Where are we going?
Beverly: To get Geoff back.
Erica: What about Lou?
Beverly: If he thinks he's gonna keep my baby from the man she loves, then he's gonna find out what a bad influence I can be.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, no one messes with Beverly Goldberg. Sure, it took her a while to get onboard, but now Geoff's dad was about to face off with our Wild Thing.

Beverly: Evening, Lou. Thank you for coming to this ambush. How dare you say my daughter isn't good enough for your-
Erica: Mom, wait. I know I begged you to fix this, but this is something I have to do on my own.
Beverly: But I'm all revved up.
Erica: Please, rev down. I got this.

Erica: Look, I know I get Geoff into trouble and force him out of his comfort zone and have him throw parties in your living room. But there is not a slide show in the world that will make you see just how much I love your son.
Even though I'm selfish and moody and have so much growing up to do You still love me. So, yeah, I'm not nearly good enough for a guy like you. But you make me wanna do whatever it takes to prove I can be.
Lou Schwartz: Maybe they do bring out the best in each other.
Beverly: No maybe, Lou. They just do.