Beverly: Ginzy, why are you even here?
Virginia Kremp: You said there was a fire.
Beverly: A fire for politics!
Virginia Kremp: No, you said there was a grease fire, so I brought this bucket of sand.
Beverly: Exactly! Each grain in your stupid bucket represents a life I'll change for the better!
Adam: That's a pretty full bucket, Mom.
Essie Karp: I think there's more grains in there than all the people on Earth.
Linda Schwartz: How do you even count sand?
Essie Karp: Probably by weight.
Linda Schwartz: That's smart.
Virginia Kremp: I never knew that.
Linda Schwartz: Yeah, I like that.
Beverly: Yes! You all hear my clarion call to action! Together we can!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] My mom's campaign was a runaway train. But there was one person we could always count on to pump the brakes.
Adam: I hope you're aware that your wife is down there destroying democracy!
Murray: It had a good run.
Adam: If she wins, she's gonna bankrupt the city!
Murray: Mm, changing things up.
Adam: And you know this whole thing's gonna end up costing you a fortune!
Murray: Marriage ain't cheap.
Adam: How can you just sit there and not care about this?!
Murray: I'm a riddle.
Adam: Pfft!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While my dad was surprisingly supportive, Geoff was about to get a shock of his own.
Erica: Wait till you see this!
Geoff: Whoa. Brick walls and exposed pipes? Are we visiting the Tenement Museum?
Erica: Nope. It's our new home! I found us the most rad off-campus apartment anywhere.
Geoff: How far off-campus are we?
Erica: Camden, New Jersey.
Geoff: That's a whole different state than the one our college is in.
Erica: Geoff, why aren't you more excited? We're in the emerging arts district.
Geoff: Emerging from what? There's a sign at the restaurant across the street that says "Welcome to Little Botswana."
Erica: Exactly. Emerging.

Barry: There you are!
Erica: Barry? How did you find us? A big draw of this place was you not knowing where it was.
Ren: Sorry. I told him to meet me here.
Barry: Geoff, we have a James Bond mixer so freshmen can James Bond with other freshmen. I don't get it, either.
Schwartz.
Geoff: Geoff Schwartz. License to party.
Barry: Don't do that at the mixer! Let's go.
Erica: Wait, you can't go. We have to do a credit check, sign a lease, and put down a deposit.
Geoff: Sorry, Bar, instead of making new and exciting lifelong friendships, I gotta sign stuff. Yay!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As Geoff gave in, my mom wasn't giving up on her local-government dreams.
Beverly: Okay. Who's ready for a debate?
Murray: That Wembley fella said yes to a debate?
Beverly: I publicly questioned his manhood, so he had to! Adam recorded it.
Adam: Ah, same outfit Apollo Creed wore when he entered the ring in Rocky.
Beverly: Good eye.

Murray: You got my vote.
Beverly: Oh, Murray, you are a treasure.
Virginia Kremp: I have one thought, which is I'm done with this campaign and possibly our friendship.
Essie Karp: Ginzy said my thing.
Linda Schwartz: Love the outfit, though.
Adam: Sorry, Mom, I'm off this train, too.
Beverly: Schmoo, I need you! Everything I'm doing, I'm doing for you!
Adam: Why, exactly?
Beverly: So you can see that anything is possible.
Adam: I got that from the debate. I'm out.
Beverly: I'll let you shoot my campaign ad with an unlimited budget.
Adam: I always believed in you. Let's do this!
Beverly: Yes! [gasps] Soon, the corridors of power will be mine.
Murray: You got my vote!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] My sister was loving her new off-campus apartment. But for Geoff, it was a little too off-campus.
Erica: Uh, what's with the dorkwear?
Geoff: It's freshman field day. I'm on the purple team. White is our mortal enemy.
Erica: You're leaving now? But I'm turning this drab nook into a twinkly wonderland.
Geoff: Yeah, I-I love how hard it'll be for me to see my textbooks.
Erica: You're not gonna help us?
Geoff: I guess I could be late to the thing I'm really excited about because of these lights that just kinda meander across the wall.
Erica: There ya go, Kris Kringle. Grab some thumb tacks and go where the wire takes ya.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, always the supportive boyfriend, Geoff once again put Erica first.
Geoff: Over here, I guess?

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Turns out the sack race wasn't all Geoff missed. There was the surprise guest speaker.
Barry: Holy crap! That was life-changing!
Geoff: What was life changing? A boring meeting with no fun surprises?
Barry: Maya Angelou, bro! She read a poem and did a kamikaze shot! She knows why the caged bird parties.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As the week went on, Geoff couldn't catch a break.
Barry: What happened to you?
Geoff: Tell me it's not over.
Barry: It was so cool! Sheets are not just for ghosts or creating forts.
Geoff: Can I get a redo? I'm free tomorrow afternoon!
Barry: Eh, it was once-in-a-lifetime, never to be duplicated. The Bangles came by and welcomed us with a song.
Geoff: Oh, no. Was it "Walk Like An Egyptian"?
Barry: [dances] Does this answer your question?
Geoff: It does!

Beverly: I need something catchy and inspired and...
Janet Jackson: [on video] This is a story about control. My control. Control of what I say and control of what I do.
Beverly: What kind of feast for the eyes is this?
Adam: That's Control, Janet Jackson's masterpiece and her personal testament to self-actualization.
Beverly: You know a lot about this Janet Jackson.
Adam: She was Willis's girlfriend on Diff'rent Strokes.
Beverly: This is what I want. And you're gonna give it to me, because I gave you life.
Adam: That comes up more than it should, but sure.