‘I Caddyshacked the Pool’
Season 3, Episode 4 - Aired October 14, 2015
Adam comes up with an excuse to not swim in class because he is embarrassed of his changing body, but Coach Mellor says he will fail him unless he participates. So he comes up with a plan that could affect his friendship with Dave Kim. Meanwhile, Erica struggles to find an identity, so she creates a club at school, but Barry ruins the experience for her when he joins the club as well.
Quote from Barry
Barry: Oh, we'll see who the joke is once I start my own rival social awareness club to raise money for Barity.
Erica: Barity? That's not a thing.
Barry: It's a Barry Charity. A Barity. And it will crush your charity.
Quote from Coach Mellor
Coach Mellor: I figured keeping you here hours after class would flush out our prankster. Alvin, our janitor, gave me that pun. If the culprit doesn't come forward by next class, you will all be punished. But know this, I will find you.
Quote from Erica
Erica: What the hell is this?
Barry: Victory. My friend Terrence works at the Wawa, he gave me all the day-old donuts they were gonna trash.
Erica: You people are eating garbage pastries!
Quote from Coach Mellor
Coach Mellor: Wait, hold on, stop, stop, stop. You telling me you'd rather run laps indefinitely than get in the pool?
Kids: Yeah.
Coach Mellor: Well, in that case, swimming for the rest of the year.
Emmy: We can't just swim all year. What about basketball?
Coach Mellor: It will be water basketball.
Dave: Dodgeball?
Coach Mellor: Pool dodgeball.
Adam: Soccer?
Coach Mellor: You'll be on rafts.
Quote from Pops
Beverly: No, Adam wouldn't do that. I mean, I solved his problems by forcing him to love his body.
Murray: Nobody wants to hear that sort of thing from their mother.
Beverly: Well, if that's true, then I suppose he needs to hear it from his father.
Murray: Or his grandfather.
Pops: I'm not saying that weird stuff to the boy. We keep it loose.
Quote from Adam
Adam: Wait. I did it. I Caddyshacked the pool.
Dave Kim: Innocent!
Adam: Look, this wasn't some prank. I did it because I hate swimming. We all do. We dread having to wear our swimsuits in front of each other because we feel super weird about our super weird bodies. So if it's a crime to be self-concious, then I guess I'm guilty. But just ask yourself, isn't that punishment enough?
Coach Mellor: No. A month's detention.
Adam: Balls.
Quote from Barry
Barry: Look, maybe you are a poser, but so am I. Don't tell anyone, but I can't dunk on Charles Barkley. I'm not in the yakuza. And even though it looks like it, my body's not as cut as LL Cool J's.
Erica: Well, your secret's safe with me.
Quote from Barry
Erica: Dear God, how do you keep making these t-shirts so fast?
Barry: Mom's got iron-on decals of all our faces.
Quote from Erica
Erica: I am not a poser, okay. You're the one that pretends to be a rapper and a karate master.
Quote from Erica
Erica: Oh my God. We're smart, ambitious women and we're talking about scrunchies.