Adam: Wait. I did it. I Caddyshacked the pool.
Dave Kim: Innocent!
Adam: Look, this wasn't some prank. I did it because I hate swimming. We all do. We dread having to wear our swimsuits in front of each other because we feel super weird about our super weird bodies. So if it's a crime to be self-concious, then I guess I'm guilty. But just ask yourself, isn't that punishment enough?
Coach Mellor: No. A month's detention.
Adam: Balls.