Barry: Well, it ends today! Mom will no longer control me with her mommery.
Erica: Yeah. Let's stick it to her by learning the life skills that we should've learned as small children.
Barry: I'm scared, but I'm in. Take my hand, Father. Leap with us into the unknown.

Doc: All right, Goldberg. Stop the tape. Is this some kind of joke?
Adam: I know what you're thinking. It's too good.
Doc: This is not your grandfather's war story. You stole it from "Hogan's Heroes."
Adam: No. I've never even seen that show. This came straight from my grandfather. I demand an apology and an A-plus!
Doc: More like an F and a week's detention for being a liar. What was that?
Adam: Nothing.
Doc: Did you just throw my chalk back at me?
Adam: Pffft. Wha? You threw it to me. I threw it back at you. It's a game of catch. We have fun.

Principal Ball: Wow. That is incriminating.
Adam: I guess we have to face facts. Hogan stole that story from my grandfather. No, wait. Hogan is my grandfather!
Doc: Oh, and I'm Granny from "The Beverly Hillbillies." Give it up.
Adam: Never. Pops is my best friend in the world, and there's no way he'd lie to me.

Erica: Unbelievable! The way that woman fed us, cleaned our rooms, loved us day and night. She's been playing us for suckers.
Barry: We should have seen the caring and nurturing for what it was, a ruse.

Erica: Face it, we know basic life skills now. Your days of manipulating us into needing you are done.
Beverly: Manipulating you? I have never done anything so awful.
Erica: You faked a pelvis injury so I'd cook Thanksgiving dinner with you.
Barry: You tricked us into filling up a swear jar with enough money so we could take a family trip to Colonial Williamsburg.
Erica: You forged Mother's Day coupons from us to get unlimited snuggles.
Beverly: Okay, I do it every week! What do you want from me?
Erica: To be normal.
Beverly: You know I can't do that.

Murray: They're right, Bevy, and you know it.
Beverly: Of course I know it. They've just grown up so fast, Murray. I'm their mother. I've given them everything! And it is so hard to be reminded that your time with them is over.
Murray: It's not over. It's just changing. And you just got to figure out a way to change with it.

Pops: [on tape] It was October 8, 1942. I signed up for basic training and was shipped off to Alabama. The heat was brutal, and we lost a lot of good men along the way. It was summer. Our boat was headed for Florida loaded with 1,000 crates of pants. Problem was, no one knew which were the small pants and which were the large pants. It was up to me to make sure everyone got the right size pants. We docked at dawn, and by God, we delivered those pants, which fit perfectly on the bravest soldiers this world has ever known.
Adam: [on tape] Turns out, heroes come in all shapes and sizes. I know Pops didn't storm the beach at Normandy, but he still put his life on the line. And that's why he's my hero.
Doc: That got me. My gramps was a cook on a Navy barge that never left Hudson Bay.
Adam: So I don't fail?
Doc: Son, that was the best damn term paper I've ever seen. And I suggest you keep making more.

Beverly: Kids, I need to talk to you. Geoff, get out.
Geoff: You know, I don't mind staying. Sometimes, I kind of feel like I'm part of the family. Okay.

Erica: Mom, don't even start. I get enough lectures at school.
Beverly: It's not a lecture. It's an apology. I've done a few questionable things to keep you kids close to me.
Barry: "A few"?
Beverly: I've done a ton of questionable things! But no more. You kids are changing. There's no reason I can't, too. It's time for an evolution, a Bevolution.
Murray: That sounds expensive.
Beverly: Oh, it will be. But it's something I want to do. What do you say?
Erica: I say, it's really awesome. And I'm proud of you.

Auctioneer: Up next, from the Von Thurston estate is this abstract expressionist painting of unknown provenance. The bidding starts at $5,000.
Adam: $30,000!
Auctioneer: I have $30,000.
Pops: Whoa, pump the brakes, kiddo.
Adam: Don't worry. The whole point is to force these dopes to pay double for this ridiculous art.
Auctioneer: I have $30,000 going once.
Adam: I'm pretty sure that guy raised his hand.
Auctioneer: No.
Adam: No? You sure?
Auctioneer: I am sure. I have $30,000 going twice.
Adam: Come on, people! Look at that beautifully rendered depiction of despair or joy or horses. Who knows what it is, but just buy it, people.
Auctioneer: Sold to Mr. Skywalker and his associate, Dr. Zaius.
Pops: Run, Adam. Run and don't look back.