Geoff: I know how much you had your heart set on fancy seafood, so I scored some fresh lobster for us to cook here.
Erica: Oh, it'll be just like "Annie Hall". So cute and fun and... What the hell are those?
Geoff: They're lake lobsters. Same tender meat with half the salt.
Erica: There's only two. They're bite-sized.
Geoff: Yeah, they looked bigger in the bed of that pickup truck I bought them from.
Erica: It's fine. I had a big lunch. Just cook 'em up.
Geoff: Um, I was kind of thinking maybe you could touch them, because looking at them makes my skin crawl.

Geoff: What was that about?
Erica: Eh, Barry's pinned under a car or something. Back to our date.
Geoff: I think you should go help them.
Erica: No! We had a decade of terrible timing. I will not have our first date ruined by my idiot brothers. Now, let's eat these beach termites and make some memories.

Beverly: Let's just go back to the way things were, okay? Back to you watching TV and being comfortable.
Murray: I thought you were embarrassed by your dumb lump of a husband who doesn't go to plays and doesn't go to museums and doesn't ride a bike like some European.

Barry: Okay. Here's the plan. I need you to dig down and use a sudden burst of super strength to pull this cart off me.
Adam: What? I don't have super strength!
Barry: Come on, it's like when a mom pulls a car off her kid.
Adam: I can do this!
Barry: Save baby Barry.
Adam: I'm a mama, and you're my scrumptious little boopie!

Adam: Yah! Oh, no.
Barry: It's working?
Adam: How do you get "It's working" from "Oh, no"? I split my pants.
Barry: Ha! Get over here and show me your butt so I can call you a lame nerd.

Adam: What would Erica do? Think. What would Erica do?
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Lucky for me, Erica was always there when I needed her most.
Erica: Erica would say, "Move aside," 'cause she's gonna take care of it.
Barry: Who's saying that? Is that Erica?

Adam: What about me?
Erica: You're good just being my annoying little brother.
Adam: Thanks. You know, I'm really gonna miss you next year.
Erica: Me, too.
Adam: Really?
Erica: Yeah. No matter where I end up, I'll always be your sister.

Pops: [playing banjo and singing] Remember that rainy evening? I sent you out With nothing but a fine-tooth comb Oh, lo-lo-lo-lo Know I'm to blame Ain't it a shame? Bill Bailey, won't you please come? Bailey, won't you please come? Bailey, won't you please come on home?