Geoff Quote #244
Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was Goldberg family policy to never leave a note on a dented car, and Geoff was starting to see why.
Geoff: Wait, so you're claiming that you were napping in your car? We didn't even see you.
John Calabasas: Yeah. I was using my camouflage blanket, so I totally disappeared like an arctic hare. Or also my dad.
Erica: Damn it, he's clearly playing us.
John Calabasas: I was merely minding my own business in my car-house when I was viciously attacked. But I'm willing to be reasonable.
Geoff: And that's why I left a note.
John Calabasas: Look, why don't I just drop the lawsuit and I won't call our insurance companies?
Geoff: Oh, my God, yes! Thank you!
John Calabasas: As long as you cover my medical expenses. FYI, this Adam's apple right here got dislocated. Might cost you about ten hundo.
Barry: A dislocated Adam's apple? That's not even a thing.
John Calabasas: I'm sorry. Are you a doctor?
Erica: Not yet.
Barry: Damn it, he's always a step ahead.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘Eracism’ Quotes
Quote from Barry
Barry: Geoff, you've inspired me to be a better man.
Geoff: Aww, Bar. Are you giving some of your stuff to charity?
Barry: Nope, I'm giving some of your stuff back.
Geoff: My missing Jordans? I cried when I couldn't find these!
Barry: So hard. But they're back now, and they smell like my feet.
Geoff: My toothbrush? My pajamas? A photo of my Nana?
Barry: [chuckles] I like her face.
Geoff: My prescription swim goggles?
Barry: Yeah, those gave me a headache in the shower. But the good news is, I learned my lesson and I will never permanently borrow anything from you again. Later, Schwartz.
[When Barry turns around, he is wearing a jersey with the name "G. Schwartz 13" on the back]
Geoff: Oh, come on!
Quote from Murray
Murray: You never leave a note! Ever! No note!
Erica: See, Geoff? It all worked out.
Geoff: Not for the guy with the dented car.
Murray: Follow our Golden Rule... "Do unto others or they'll do unto you."
Geoff: That's not the Golden Rule.
Erica: He didn't say the Golden Rule. He said our Golden Rule. Words matter, Geoff.
Barry: I thought it was "Do unto others before they do unto you."
Erica: That's good too.
Quote from Barry
Erica: I'm in. I had pizza for lunch, but I'll just fold it over and say it's a calzone.
Barry: And I'll take Hawaiian. Those island people wear flip-flops to the office. They know how to live.
Erica: Pineapple? Who puts fruit on a pizza?
Barry: This guy! There's literally nothing I won't eat if it's on top of sauce, cheese, and dough.
Murray: What about sardines?
Barry: Those salty little guppies? Stack 'em up.
Erica: Yogurt?
Barry: It'll just make it healthier.
Beverly: Franks n' beans?
Barry: It's called campfire pizza. Reminds me of summer.