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Double Dare

‘Double Dare’

Season 3, Episode 13 - Aired January 20, 2016

Adam and Emmy are excited when their favorite TV game show "Double Dare" hosts auditions at their school, but their friendship hits the rocks when they both choose other partners. Meanwhile, superstitious Barry believes Beverly is a good luck charm for the Eagles, but Murray wants to keep football as his alone time.

Quote from Murray

Bill Lewis: Hey, buddy. Got you a new burger flipper. I noticed your old spatula was a little worse for wear.
Murray: Look at you. Always so damn nice, huh? Well, I'm sick of it.
Bill Lewis: Lashing out because The Eagles lost?
Murray: And I'm sick of your face.
Bill Lewis: I'll just leave this and go.
Murray: I will kill you with this spatula, you thoughtful, thoughtful man!


Quote from Murray

Murray: What happened the first Sunday after we got married, when you insisted on watching the game with me?
Beverly: They lost by six stupid touchdowns. Just come and get your nachos.
Barry: Mom, you know the rules. Once the game starts, we can't move from our spot. Now truck it over on the animal.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] This '80s toy monster truck was their typical lifeline, mostly due to its retractable claws for stability.
Beverly: The claws did nothing.
Barry: Stay back! Don't clean it up.
Beverly: There's hot cheese on my rug!
Murray: That's its home now! She jinxed us. Do your idiot dance.

Quote from Pops

Adam: Pops, I have amazing news! You're gonna be my partner on "Double Dare"!
Pops: That's the best news I've heard all day. Also, what's "Double Dare"?
Adam: Only the country's hottest game show. You love game shows, right?
Pops: You bet. That Vanna White sure can turn a letter. Ha ha!
Adam: Don't say any of that at our audition. In fact, leave all the talking to me.

Quote from Murray

Murray: A man needs time away from his wife, and for me, football is that time.
Barry: So, what? You're just gonna tell her to go away? You know Mom. It'll crush her.
Murray: Don't worry. I'll be sensitive. [to Beverly] Hey, honey. Would you put that down and get out?
Beverly: What?!
Murray: Listen, it's not that I don't love spending every moment with you, but you don't understand football, and it's distracting.
Beverly: Well, that sounds like an excuse.
Murray: Okay, imagine if I go to your scrapbook club and every few seconds, I interrupt you with a question about what glitter I should use.
Beverly: Well, that would be ridiculous because there's opaque, translucent, chunky, micro-fine, spray-on, brush-on squeeze-on- Oh. I get it. I'll go.
Murray: That means a lot, Bevy. [to Barry] And that's how you do marriage.

Quote from Erica

Erica: My god. I can't take this anymore. Look, there is only one way to teach Mom anything, put it in terms she understands. Okay, this is a football, but I want you to imagine it's actually me as a baby.
Beverly: Aww! Ooh!
Erica: Now, your job is to protect that baby at all costs.

Quote from Geoff

Beverly: Who are they?
Geoff: Hi, Erica! You called, and I came right away. Isn't that nice of me?

Quote from Beverly

Erica: As you can see, they're the enemy.
Bill Lewis: We call them the defensive line. Their job is to stop you.
Erica: Translation: they're a band of evil college recruiters, wanting to take your precious little girl away to an out-of-state university.
Beverly: But that's too far. How will I see you every day?

Quote from Adam

Pops: I can't find the damn flag.
Adam: Look under the pad of butter! They always hide it under the pad of butter!
Pops: Aw, there's no flag here!

Quote from Pops

Pops: This is my good tracksuit! Why am I here? Oh, no, no! This is not a game show!
Adam: Faster! Po-
Pops: I'm not a hamster! I'm a human man! That did not go well.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Watch next play, they're gonna throw the long ball.
Murray: That's nuts. It's third and short. They're gonna go up the middle.
Beverly: No. They're expecting the rush.
Murray: Gah! Stop saying things with sports-fueled knowledge!
Barry: Let's all just not talk until The Eagles win, okay?
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Unfortunately for my dad, they really were expecting the rush.
Beverly: Boom! Ha ha! Who called it? Mama bird that's who! Face!

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