The Goldbergs - Erica Quote #212
Erica: I have a plan. When it comes to swearing, we have self-control. Lucky for us, our mom does not.
Adam: Oh, my God. You're gonna use the swear jar to scam Mom.
Erica: I ran the numbers. We need 723 big swear words. If we can up Mom's swear rate to twice an hour and nail her on some "hells" and "damn its" in between, we're gonna be slurping on strawberry daiquiris in the Bahamas in 13 days.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Wha- What?! I have never!
Beverly: What? I don't talk like that.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] But she did. Bev Bombs were dropped on a daily basis in our home.
Beverly: Holy [bleep]! I love that idea! I hate drugs so [bleep] much! Adam used to be a good boy, and now he's a real [bleep]. [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] Yeah!
Quote from Matt
Barry: Next category, busting balls. Come up with three insults for how short Andy is.
Andy: Oh. No, we don't have to do-
Matt: Andy is so tiny, he uses a sock as a sleeping bag. When Andy plays mini-golf, it's just called "Golf." Did you hear Andy died? He was bungee-jumping off a curb and the dental floss broke.
Andy: I feel completely humiliated.
Quote from Barry
Andy: Actually, I think we'd rather just chill here and watch Matt Bradley jam.
Barry: That guy? He's a stupid Deadhead.
Naked Rob: So?
Barry: So? Their songs are, like, a million hours long, their crazy fans smell like armpits, and all they wear is tie-dye. It's like, pick a color, bro. You can't have them all.
Quote from Family Takes Care of Beverly
Barry: I just saved your life.
Barry: According to the way of the Samurai, you're my servant until the debt is repaid.
Erica: That's not a thing.
Barry: Oh, it is. It's the Bushido code.
Erica: Well, that sounds like complete Bushido.
Quote from DannyDonnieJoeJonJordan
Erica: Look, it's Barry's baby helmet.
Barry: No! I thought we gave that back to the institute.
Erica: You were so cute with your little flat head. I used to rest my Kool-Aid on you. Oh my gosh, it's a picture of you all helmeted up. This is gonna look great in the year book.
Quote from The Hooters
Beverly: At least let me buy you girls dessert. Oh, there's a new "wudder-ice" place.
Geoff: Oh, man! Their "wudder ice" is amazing!
Other Erica: Okay. What are you people talking about?
Beverly: "Wudder ice."
Geoff: "Wudder ice."
Beverly: "Wudder ice."
Other Erica: What's "wudder"?
Erica: They're trying to say "water ice." It's a local dessert.
Other Erica: Ew. Your food and words are gross. I say we drive straight until we find some culture.