Erica: I'm glad you came to me with this. And I really appreciate your honesty. And now I hope you can appreciate mine. I think you're unappealing and gross.

Barry: Get away, I'm contagious!
Beverly: The only thing that's contagious are your sweet dance moves.

Murray: She just had her morning coffee. You go. I'll stay and be a body in the room for her.

Garry: What'd your hot mom pack for lunch today?
Dave Kim: She is hot, dude. Dave Kim likes an hour-glass shape. It harkens back to Hollywood.
Adam: Shut up, Dave Kim.

Adam: I had a terrible day. I gambled pretty bad and I lost.
Murray: Well, hey, that's why you always keep a spare pair of underpants in your locker. That gem's for free.

Barry: Coach, I'm kinda going through some personal stuff, you have time to talk?
Coach: I'm not just your wrestling coach, Goldberg, I'm your life coach. Now drop and give me feelings.

Adam: What about all your legendary war stories? Are those true?
Pops: Well, mostly.
Adam: Did you karate kick Mussolini in the face?
Pops: No, but I was a very outspoken critic.

Erica: Happy to report that the dorks and dinks are afraid to talk to me again. All is right with the world.

Adam: What the hell is this?
Beverly: Oh, that's one of those, uh, robo change 'em ups you love so much.
Adam: This is a GoBot. I gambled away all my Transformers.
Beverly: And the difference would be?
Adam: This is a Transformer, and this is a GoBot. Look at the obvious difference!

Beverly: Well, why not put your money where your mouth is, Ball?
Principal Ball: Meaning?
Beverly: You may be lucky, but when it comes to Beverly Goldberg's love of her children, she never loses.