Virginia: Ooh, good weekend, Beverly. We come bearing trout.
Beverly: Well, just stuff it in the mailbox, like the rest of our easily offended neighbors.
Virginia: No, no, no, it's a gift. For eating.
Beverly: Oh! Well, I guess I could cheese these up, drown 'em in some chili. [chuckles] You know, the next time, have the seafood guy remove the bones.
Charles: No, we caught these.
Chad: In a river.
Beverly: You're saying words, but I don't understand what they are.

Virginia: Charles and Chad just got back from their annual father-son fishing trip.
Beverly: You guys go outside? [chuckling] Together?
Charles: I just love spending time with my tiger here.
Chad: And some years, we don't come home with anything, except memories.
Murray: I got to get out of here! I can't play games! I've got plans tonight!
Adam: You have a family here!
Murray: Ah! He's aggravating me, the little bastard!
Virginia: Is everything okay?
Murray: Go [bleep] yourself, you...
Beverly: Bye, now.

Lisa: What a fun song. Next up?
Barry: Barry Goldberg. And all you wannabe Sing-walds can go home. Lisa, I'm excited to join you and your squad of lovelies on this musical and probable romantic journey.
Erica: Dude, you do know this is an all-female singing group?
Barry: While I do need a fresh romantic ocean to dive into, I'm merely here for my love of Acapulco.
Lisa: A cappella. Acapulco is a city in Mexico.
Barry: A jet-setter. Allow me to transport you to music heaven. I'll loosen up my music instrument. [clears throat] Oh, shoot. Yeah, I didn't prepare anything.
Lisa: It's a no.
Barry: Smart. Let's not complicate whatever's happening between us.
Lisa: There's nothing happening between us.
Barry: Well, you never know until you barge onstage during an all-female audition. Good luck. She's tough.

Lisa: [to Erica] Welcome to the Molly Sing-walds!
Geoff: Oh, my God, thank you! I did this! My overbearing love led to this moment! And I'm stealing focus. Sorry, babe.

Erica: Just a quick thought. Um, are you guys married to the name Molly Sing-walds?
Lisa: You don't like it?
Erica: No, it's great, if you like obvious puns.
Geoff: She's incredibly honored, and you won't regret this. So, don't make them regret this, honey.
Erica: Geoff, what are you doing? It's just, with music, sometimes you tend to take things... How do I put this gently? Way too seriously.
Erica: You're the one who pushed me into this.
Geoff: For sure, but don't become a monster who ruins all these women's lives.
Erica: Of course I won't. I mean, sure, I'll tweak a few things, but who doesn't like harsh change?

Beverly: Surprise!
Murray: There's no food! That's a horrible surprise!
Beverly: Instead, you're going on a camping trip. Isn't that the greatest news you've ever heard?
Adam: Opposite! Dad, do something.
Murray: Don't worry. I got it. Bevy, take a look at me. It can't be done.
Beverly: It can, and it will. You embarrassed me in front of the Kremps.
Murray: Kremps? That's not a real name.
Beverly: They're right there.
Chad: Hey, there, neighbor! Grab your mitts. Come on over.
Adam: Who's he talking to?
Murray: Got to be you and your mom.
Beverly: You're gonna have what they have. This trip is mandatory. I will not allow your entire relationship to be based on yelling.
Murray: It wouldn't be if the kid wasn't such a moron.
Adam: In my defense, my dad's a dumb lump.
Beverly: That's what I mean. You two need to rediscover your love for each other. Now, get in the car! And here's your camera. I want proof.

Adam: Why does she always have to be so involved in our family's lives?
Murray: This is honestly the worst day of my life.
Adam: But maybe it doesn't have to be.
Murray: Tell me your cockamamie plan. I'll do anything.
Adam: We don't have to go. We just have to look like we did.

Erica: We got to win this thing.
Lisa: No, it's not a competition. I mean, the only winners will be the Boys & Girls Club, who will get all the proceeds.
Erica: Well, those inner-city kids are also gonna get a front-row seat to a musical ass-whuppin'.
Lisa: Or we just help some kids. How about we start out with some scales today?
Erica: Scales are for preschoolers before Christmas pageants. All right, now, drop a baseline and give me a bouncy C.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] With that, Erica did what she always did when it came to music... took it way too seriously. And the Molly Sing-walds learned the hard way.
Erica: Let's go, Jen! Keep up with the choreography, all right? Your feet are as flat as your voice.
Geoff: She's a person, babe.
Erica: You're making the sound of a corpse being pulled from a river and de-gassing.
Geoff: Pretty graphic, hon.
Erica: Who said you can have water? Water is for winners.
Geoff: It's also essential to life.

Lisa: Hey, good work today.
Erica: [scoffs] No, it wasn't. You call that Journey? Don't stop believing you all suck.
Lisa: Erica, I don't think this is working out. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the group.
Erica: Lead the group? Oh, finally. I accept. My first big change is that shirt, your hair, and everything else.
Lisa: You're out. Please go.
Erica: I don't understand.
Lisa: You're a total nightmare. You're... You're rude, you're bossy. This is supposed to be joyful.
Erica: I see.
Lisa: Hey, I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
Geoff: Oh, that's not what's happening.
Erica: No. What's happening is I'm going to assemble the greatest a cappella group the world has ever known and then crush you into oblivion at next week's competition/children's charity event.
Geoff: Oof. Lisa, you and I are about to have a real roller coaster of a week. [chuckles]