Ashley: Will, I think Janet likes you.
Will: I definitely think she's up on me.
Ashley: You know, it's probably not too late to get that spinach out of your teeth.

Jazz: She just moved out here and she hasn't had a date yet, and, Prince, she really needs a man.
Will: But does she look good?
Jazz: Sure she does. Good looks run in my family.
Will: Okay, Jazz. Um, look, you know I'd do anything for you. You're like a brother to me.
Jazz: Check.
Will: Which means that your sister should be like a sister to me, not a girlfriend. I mean, just think, if it doesn't work out, it could jeopardize our friendship.
Jazz: I'm willing to take that risk.
Will: Look, my brother, I have to give this some serious thought.
Jazz: Alright, well, can I bring her by just to meet you?
Will: Yeah, that's chill.
Jazz: Cool. Tonight, 8:00 sharp. And try to smell good.
[Will looks off to the side and sees Jazz, with long hair and a woman's outfit:]
Jazz: [imaginary] Yo, big boy. Give your sweet mama some sugar.

Vivian: Why don't you want to see Jazz?
Will: It's his sister I don't want to see. Jazz is trying to set me up.
Philip: Jazz has a sister? Nice to meet you, Dad.
[Phil looks off to the side and imagines Jazz with long hair in a woman's outfit, just as Will did]
Jazz: [imaginary] Nice to meet you, Dad.
Philip: [shudders]

Jazz: So, what do you think?
Will: Brother, do the words "boing-yoing-yoing" mean anything to you? Yo, man, I can't wait to go out with your sister. Thanks for putting me "D," man.
Jazz: Gee, Man, I'm having second thoughts. See, Prince, you're like a brother to me. And if you date my sister and it doesn't work out it could jeopardize our friendship.
Will: I'm willing to take that risk.
Jazz: Well, in that case, how much are you willing to give?
Will: Give?
Jazz: You know, to take her out. I'd sure look good in this jacket.
Will: I should have known.
Jazz: The hat, too. The hat. Let me get a good look at this shirt.

Vivian: Oh, come on, Philip, it was awfully nice of Jazz to introduce Will to his sister. He's a good friend.
[Will slides into into the kitchen in his underwear]
Will: My brothers and sisters, I've got a date.

Janet: You know what would be fun?
Will: I can think of a couple of things.
Janet: It would be fun to take your cousin Ashley out sometime. I love kids.
Will: Yeah, word. Kids are great.
Janet: Do you want kids of your own?
Will: Definitely.
Janet: You'd be a great dad.
Will: You, too, baby.
Janet: I probably shouldn't tell you this but the moment I saw you I knew we'd be great together.
Will: I hope it wasn't the leather jacket that did it.
Janet: Don't be silly. You're not wearing the jacket now, are you?
Will: Mm-mm. And I never will be again.
Janet: Clothes don't make the man. And, Will, you are my man.
Will: Oh, man.

Will: Well, maybe we should look at the menu. If I can get my eyes to focus.
Janet: I am getting a little hungry.
Will: Baby, have the lobster, have the caviar. Anything you want.
Janet: Well, I know I don't want lobster and caviar, they're much too expensive.
Will: You're right. We are going to be great together.

Geoffrey: Mr. Jazz and Miss Janet.
Jazz: Prince, here she is. Janet, Will. Will, Janet.
Will: You don't have a goatee.
Janet: Excuse me?
Vivian: Hi, I'm Vivian Banks, Will's aunt. And this is my husband Philip and our daughters Hilary and Ashley.
Janet: It's nice to meet you.
Will: Hey, m-m-meet me again.
Philip: Why don't we all take a seat?
Geoffrey: May I get you anything, Master William? A dribble bib?

Gia: Hi, I'm Gia.
Will: Hi, I'm Will.
Gia: You ready to order?
Will: We certainly are.
Janet: Not.
Gia: Then I'll come back.
Janet: William, can we get one thing straight? When you are with me, I don't want you to be looking at other women.
Will: What other women?
Janet: Please. I saw you looking at that waitress. So you can just put those ol' googly eyes back in your head, all right? [snaps fingers] Hello? I said, all right?
Will: All right.

Ashley: Hi, Hilary. Did a guy named Michael call while I was in the shower?
Hilary: No. Who is he?
Ashley: Just a boy in my class.
Hilary: Do you like him?
Ashley: Well, sort of.
Hilary: And was he supposed to call?
Ashley: Well, he said he would.
Hilary: [scoffs] I can't stand it when men do this. They say they're going to call, so you wait and wait. And nothing. I mean, what do they think we have nothing better to do than sit by the phone? [answers phone] Hello? Oh, hello, Michael. Well, I'm glad you found a time that was convenient for you to call. No, Ashley is not here. I don't know where she is. She may not be back for several days.
Ashley: Hilary!
Hilary: [covers phone] I know what I'm doing. [on the phone] You want her to call you back? Oh, yeah, that'll be happening, Mr. God's Gift to the Fifth Grade.