Vivian: So, Janet, how long have you been in town?
Janet: Well, I just moved here. I got a scholarship to go to UCLA.
Hilary: Oh, well, we certainly know who got the brains in your family.
Jazz: Yeah, but Janet ain't stupid.

Janet: So, Mrs. Banks, Jazz tells me you're a college professor.
Vivian: That's right. I teach English.
Janet: And Mr. Banks, Jazz tells me you're a professional wrestler.
Philip: Well, I'm afraid he was mistaken. I'm a lawyer.
Jazz: My apologies. I was misquoted.

Hilary: Well, Janet, I went to UCLA. Do you want to use my books?
Jackie: Thanks. I was thinking of buying used books.
Hilary: Oh, well, these aren't used.

Will: J-Janet, whoa. Hold on, hold on. Wait a minute. wait a minute. Sheesh! Wait a minute. I mean, don't you think it's a little early to be talking about marriage?
Janet: Excuse me? Well, then what did you have in mind?
Will: I don't know. Dinner, maybe a dance or two.
Janet: Oh, is that right? A moment ago, you were chewing on my earlobe, Mr. Niblet. Did you think you could sample the milk without putting a down payment on the cow?
Will: I ordered lemonade.
Janet: Well, you're not gonna drink it. You're cutting out that sugar, too. No husband of mine will sit around getting fat and watching TV all day and leaving me with all the work of raising six kids by myself. Oh, no. Mm-mm.
Will: But-
Janet: But, nothing. And look at me when I'm talking to you! [Will gives a concerned look to camera] William, who are you looking at?

Jazz: Prince, is your uncle here? I think I dislocated my hip last night dancing. Man, I don't want to risk getting thrown out. [Will removes Jazz's jacket] Yo, man, what's up? Come on, man, that tickles.
Will: I want my clothes back, Jazz. You set me up with a maniac. Man, your sister's the bossiest woman in the world.
Jazz: I know.
Will: You know?
Jazz: Man, she gets on my last nerves. Ever since she moved out here she's been hanging out at my place, bossing me around all the time. I had to pawn her off on some sucker.
[Will throws Jazz out of the house]

Hilary: [to Toni] Well, you know Carlton and Will. And a little further down on the evolutionary chart, Jazz.
Jazz: She noticed me.

Gia: And what is boyfriend having?
Will: Uh, the green-grass salad with blue-cheese dressing. [Janet clears her throat] Nix the blue cheese.

Will: Jazz, I know how to check a woman. Watch this. Yo, Janet! Peep this here, baby. We're going out tonight. I'm gonna choose the place. I'm gonna eyeball any honey that I darn well please, all right. Then I'm gonna order a steak with a big bucket of blue-cheese dressing. Do I make myself clear?
Janet: The only thing clear about you is the space between your ears. [snaps fingers and walks out]

Geoffrey: [clears throat] Mr. Jazz.
Ashley: Yo, what up, pop?
Jazz: Home fry.
Hilary: Will's in the kitchen.
Jazz: I can wait.
Hilary: Why don't you sit here a little closer?
Jazz: Don't mind if I do.
Hilary: Will you just get away from me?
Jazz: I love a woman who's hard to get.
Geoffrey: In that case, I want to marry you and have your child.
Jazz: I'm down with that, too.
Ashley: Sorry, Jazz.
Jazz: That's okay. I got a great view of her running out.

Will: Yo, what up, J?
Jazz: Yo, Prince, I need a favor.
Will: Anything, man. How many times you helped me out?
Jazz: Seven.
Will: What do you need?
Jazz: A date.
Will: Say no more!
Jazz: I want you to date my sister.
Will: Ugh, say a lot more.