Hyde: Forman, why'd you have to tell Red you got engaged? Look at him, yelling and waving. Oh! A little spit just landed on Bob. Bob's so scared, he's not even wiping it off.
Eric: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This time Red is really gonna kill me. My only hope is that he actually sticks his foot so far up my ass... he can't pull it out, and I get to take him straight to hell with me.

Fez: Well, It was incredible. Nina and I started out kissing in the living room. Then we moved into the bedroom, where we undressed. And, uh, well, then... Then we did it.
Kelso: What... Details, Fez. We need details!
Fez: Well, our faces didn't line up right, so I kept bumping my chin on her nose. And then there were some sounds.
Hyde: What kind of sounds?
Fez: Well, I will say this, it was not applause. There was no romantic music like in the movies, so I had to hum. And then Nina told me to stop humming. And, uh, then I started again without realizing it. And then she got mad. And then I think she got sad.
Jackie: Oh, well, don't worry, Fez. She probably just felt bad she was doing it with a foreigner.
Fez: And then afterwards, I went into the bathroom, and, uh... And cried a little. And then I snuck out the back door.
Donna: Poor Fez. Well, you know, at least it couldn't have been any worse.
Fez: I left my underwear in her bathroom.

Fez: Oh, working with someone you have had sex with is the worst thing ever. I don't know how Donny and Marie do it.

Donna: Mr. Forman, you remember what it felt like when you fell in love with Mrs. Forman, don't you?
Red: Nope. One day I just woke up, and my life was over. Next question.
Kitty: Well, I think, um- I think what Mr. Forman is trying to say, is that we worry you're too young to get married. Do you even know how to bake a casserole? I don't think you do.
Donna: Look, I believe there's one person out there for everyone. And you guys are that person for each other, and Eric is that person for me. And if you could just open your hearts you'd see that we should be together forever. Because we're in love, and we make each other really happy.
Kitty: Donna, that is so romantic. I still think you're too young. But if it has to be someone, I'm glad it's you. I always wanted a daughter.
Red: You already have a daughter.
Kitty: A better daughter.

Jackie: Wait. Fez, I can't believe you finally lost your virginity.
Eric: Wait, wait. This isn't like the time you bought a hamster named it "Virginity," and then lost it, is it?
Fez: No. This is the real thing.
Kelso: You know, I had a hamster once. I tied him up to a helium balloon with a note. Made it all the way to Minnesota.
Eric: Alive?
Kelso: No, I'm gonna send a dead hamster up in a balloon.

Donna: Well? What were they saying?
Kelso: I don't know. Well, I was so busy acting like I wasn't listening, I forgot to listen.
Eric: Man! I bet you he's trying to think of a punishment. He already took away the Vista Cruiser and- And fined me. What's next? Is he gonna cut off my pinkie?
Fez: Ay! What's the point of getting married, Red's gonna cut that off?

Hyde: Kelso, what are you doing, man? You trying to make me look bad?
Kelso: No, I'm not doing anything.
Hyde: Well, whatever you are doing, you shouldn't go up against me, 'cause you're not gonna win.
Kelso: Well, I'm not doing anything, and I am going to win.
Hyde: No. You're gonna lose.
Kelso: How can I lose if I'm not doing anything?
Hyde: How can you win if you're not doing anything?
Kelso: Well, if I win, I'll admit that I'm doing something.

Red: You know what, Donna? You're right. You are Eric are perfect for each other.
Donna: Really?
Red: Yes! You're as big a dumbass as he is!
Kitty: [laughs nervously] Welcome to the family.

Bob: Okay. Where's Red? I just found out he called my daughter a dumbass.
Eric: What?
Donna: Well, I really thought I was getting through to him. But then he snuck a "dumbass" in. That is a hurtful word.
Bob: You got to do something about your husband, Kitty. You guys'd be lucky to get Donna. If anything, she's gonna pretty your family up.
Kitty: Excuse me?
Bob: I'm just saying, we're a voluptuous bunch.

Bob: Wedding or no wedding, we're still getting one of those triple-decker cakes.